After a deep,
almost comatose, power nap, my Mother surprised me with a beautiful meal of
pasties (like gourmet hot pockets) and rocket salad. The meal was inspired by
the U.K. See, in my family, we have been having a meal from a different country
participating in the Olympics every night for dinner. Last night I made Middle
Eastern food, Gabrielle made French previous, and so on. Aren’t we cute? But
really, it has been a lot of fun to learn about the different cultures through
food. But it also has been really fun to learn about the different countries
through men.
With that said,
let me introduce you to Jack Green.
This twenty one
year old was born October sixth in Maidstone, Great Britain. He is a tall
cutie, standing at six feet four inches.
Jack is apart
of the Great Britain track team. When looking up his biography on Google, one
of the stats about him was titled “Favorite Position” and instantly my mind
went to the gutter. After I read below this forward sub heading I soon realized
that the British author who wrote the bio was not giving me Mr. Green’s
favorite positions... in bed... but rather his position on the team. His
favorite position is hurdles. (“Oh, I have never heard of that one before!” –
said me secretly.)
In the semi
finals of his event this year, he fell. Rather, he tripped hard core over the
hurdle. This was disappointing that I chose a loser for this post, but upon Googling
(is it grammatically correct to remove the “e” with adding “ing” when referring
to Google) images of him I realized that although he did not succeed in his
Olympic sport, he is a BIG WINNER in hotness.
This is a photo of Jack picking up his stumbled over hurdle. Look at that man butt. Mmhmm. If we got to look at this shot every time he fell, I would never want him to do well.
Now Verbaledudette tries to stay at a PG-13 appropriate level when dealing with language, subject matter, and of course photographs.
BUT i found something I just had to share.
A photographer for GQ Magazine photographed five British Olympic Athletes naked. Lucky for us, Jack Green was one of them.
I have been waiting for a sign, an inspiration, a moment of
pure overflow of word vomit to appear in my lap. I was waiting for something to
fall from the sky or for someone to yell a story from across a room. I was
waiting for magic, but I came to realize that magic is in the every day
simplicities. I realized that every single day something happens that is
important at creating my life story. I had lots to say while I was in Italy
because I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to live and thrive in a foreign
country, but I am also very lucky to wake up each day in Salt Lake City, Utah
with a wonderful family, good friends, and a place to call home. So screw the
idea of waiting for magic, everyday is magic. And what you just witnessed was
me having a moment of clarity, a moment of thankfulness, and a realization that
every day needs to be lived like it’s my last.
You finish reading that and now the sigh of relief floods
out of your mouth because Audrey’s sentimental, tender time is over. Now it’s
on to the things Internet junkies love to hear. For example I recently (like
yesterday) purchased an iPhone. It is incredibly addicting and I personally
apologize to anyone I ever publically made fun of for being so obsessed with an
electronic. This device can do everything, like Instagram and Foresquare while
Tweeting about it and posting everything on my (and your) Facebook timeline,
ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I feel like I am part of club now, the iPhone Club. We
should get jackets.
Well, I just checked my iPhone and it said that it was past
my bedtime. Here’s to better posts in the future and to being thankful for
everything we are presented with. xoxo
My Firenze journey has changed locations. Instead of writing this post
from the comfort of a yellow kitchen under a window that looks upon eerie
statues of children, I am sitting in the center of queen size bed looking out
the window where the sun settled against the dirty red tiled roof and flowers.
Hotel Bretagna feels like the Hilton of Italy. I checked in this morning and they
already knew who I was and were waiting to help carry my bags to my room (where
were they on the long treacherous walk to the hotel? Hee hee.) When I asked the
lady at the front desk what the best way was to ensure that I had a taxi
leaving the hotel at four a.m. on Tuesday morning she seemed very confused. I
asked if I should do it the night before and have it reserved. She told me just
to do it that morning. I looked at her with utter shock as my mouth uttered “You
mean someone will be at the front desk that early?” She looked at me like I was
speaking fluent German and said “of course, we are here twenty four seven.” I
really wanted to reply with a “ well excuse my confusion but every other
Italian hotel I have ever stayed in, the owner went to bed and doors were
locked until seven.” But instead I smiled sweetly and said perfeto, like a true Italian, if I may add.
(this is what I looked like when she told me that they are there all hours of night. the only difference was that I was by myself and I still had my shirt on)
My room is huge and welcoming. The bed sits in the frame of the
window, to the left a large desk and dresser with a full size mirror. (The full
sized mirror earns double points because every girl needs a full-length mirror
in order to complete getting ready.)
The bathroom is beautiful. It has fully convinced me that when I have
my own house I want a square sink. The shower looks like a space station and it
was out of this world talking a shower in it. Let me tell you what it’s all
about. It is a box. It has three showerheads. The first is your standard circle
detachable showerhead coming from the left corner. On the ceiling there is a
giant sunflower shaped showerhead. And then there is a bench, with three rows
of ten misters. You can turn each on one individually. Oh also, did I mention
that there is a special light that is dimmed and relaxing and it has an Italian
radio station built in? Well it does. I could live in it. This shower was worth
the entire trip over here. All I can say is thank goodness I do not have this
at home or at the apartment I spent the last four months in, because our water
bill would be on fire.
Now I know you are probably thinking “wow. This chick showed up to the
hotel at ten in the morning and spent the entire day in the shower” but I am here
to inform you that I did leave, not only the shower but also, the hotel. After
wiping the sweat off my brow from that extra large work out to hike over the
piazza’s to get to my hotel (but it was worth it,) I went out to explore the
town. Now my hotel is only a block away from the Ponte Vecchio (aka the most
amazing thing on earth,) so I did not have to walk far to find excitement. Now
I have not photographic proof of this event because it was too crowded to even
thinking of getting a shot of the action, but people were golfing off the
bridge. It wasn’t just a few old Italian men who had a few too much to drink.
No this was an actual planned, sponsored, announced, full on, golf tournament.
They were positioned on a platform on the edge of the bridge. Then out on the
river were large patches of floating grass boats with those little flags in the
hole. (My aunt Michael just had a heart attack about how badly I am describing
this golf set up. Please forgive me for butchering your sport Michael. I just
do not know the terms and flags in the hole pretty much sum it up for me.) They
would putt off of it and try to make it on these boats. It was the most
interesting thing. Hopefully I can get in there and document it tomorrow.
Since this was such a big deal, the city was crowded and alive. The
streets were busy with crazed Italian Christmas shoppers (much more elegant and
intense than those we have in Uh-Merica.)
Piazza Rubbuplica had Volvo booths set up and giant television screens. There
was even Santa. Oddly enough, no one wanted to sit on his lap and tell him what
he or she wanted for Christmas.
I also stumbled upon this group of adorable, incredibly talented,
elementary school children singing Christmas songs. It really put me into the
Christmas spirit and I watched them for about an hour.
(Please note the video may not be done processing. I just uploaded my first Youtube video after three failed attempts to upload the video in different formats right to the blog.)
I was the only “tourist” who stayed and watched. I kept getting odd
looks from the parents so I decided to adopt a kid and pretend she was my
sister. I would smile and clap after the instructor said something that I did
not understand. I think people started to believe it. The girl in the on the
second row, four people in, is my adoptive singing sister for an hour. She is
very animated and we look nothing a like.
The one thing that annoyed me about this concert was the parents and
their iPhones. Now I am one for the iPhone. I think they are great, classy,
everyone should have one. BUT there were text message dings going left and
right like they were trying to recreate the tune of jingle bells. These parents
could not just sit there and watch their kids (like I was doing,) they had to
play on their iPhones.
Speaking of iPhones, let’s talk about Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide
Number Eighteen: The Dokkiri Hand Case
Do not even ask where I found this. BUT
although it is creepy as hell, what a great gift. I just cannot express my
feelings about holding hands with your iphone. It will really create a bond to
your friend electronic.
Where to find: http://www.strapya-world.com/categories/6034_6035_6136.html
Price: I think $65.00’s
And then just for another phone excuse reasoning
here is the: Native Union Pop Phone Handset:
Classic. Simple. Retro. This is for the people
that you do not think will find the humor in the hand one. (If you are a buying
a gift for me you should know that I am not one for the hand one and secondly I
do not have an iPhone.)
Where to find this: http://www.nativeunion.com/us/popphone.html
Price: $29.90
Now back to my day.
The most exciting part of my day is when a fifty-euro bill literally
blew in my direction. I stepped on this piece of paper at my feet and goodness
gracious it was money. I was thrilled! How many times do you get to claim a
random fifty-euro bill as yours!? Never. Never. Never. Except this once. I
decided that with this little find I was going to treat myself to something
really nice.
I was walking through San
Lorenzo and I saw it: the cutest leather messenger bag. I walked over to the
woman, grey hair and a touch of crazy, and asked her how much it was. To my
surprise her English was flawless as she spoke, like a waterfall mind you, that
it was ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EURO. I was crushed, but I knew I had to have it
and I had to have it for fifty euro. I turned on my Concrete Rodeo Swag Skills
(for you who do not know what this is, it is a little talent my father passed
to me. I walk into a skate shop and walk out with more product than he would
ever get. If I learned anything on the skate tour it is how to bargain (and how
to dry out sweaty skater money and take showers with only twenty five cents and
three minutes.) I talked to her about the quality of the bag, she told me how
it was made and showed me pictures of the artist’s wife. I told her my story. I
am student who is studying art for the past four months and was recently kicked
out of my apartment because the term end and now is spending the last three
days in a hotel alone because my best friend had flight complications. The last
part really got to her. She even called over her little assistant guy and told
him and he said “give her a discount mama, she is a pretty girl.” I wanted to
hug this boy. To bad he was way old and too short for me because after that
line and what it got me, we could have gotten married. She dropped the price to
fifty euro. In conclusion I got two hugs from people I had just met wishing me
happy holidays and a real, paten leather, sexy, red, hipster, Italian, messenger
bag, that some poor soul with a hole in his wallet bought for me.
Oh my life is a wonderful piece of art.
(Yes. I did just tie my life in to art in a cheesy line so i could show you this photograph i took of a spray can street artist that I found today. Worth all that extra cheese, eh?)
Now I am sitting in bed (like I mentioned earlier) and Italia’s
version of VH1, DeeJay, is having karaoke night on the television. They are
playing loads of random songs (ABBA to The Backstreet Boys, Amy Winehouse to
The Killers, Cold Play to songs from Grease the Musical) music videos, but with
the lyrics on the bottom of the screen. When the artist sings the lyrics, the
words change to orange. It is actually really great because the lyrics will
come up and I will have one of those “oh so that is what they actually say
there... hmm... that is much different than what I was saying” moments.
So I am sitting in a comfortable bed, in a beautiful city, at one o
clock on a Sunday morning singing to myself while writing this letter to you.
You should feel special for that.
Good morning to Europe, Good evening to my fans back home. :)
(Spell check just corrected my smiley face for me. I originally had
this : ) but then they told me this :) was grammatically correct.)
Oh what Tuesday this one has turned out to be. First of let
me tell you that my hair looked fabulous today. At least I thought so. Last
night, I slept with my hair in a fishbone braid. When I took it out twelve
hours later I had the sexy beach hair every ocean lover wants. What a great day
to start my morning. The second eventful thing, after eating my yogurt, was
taking my Italian Art History Final. Five different print outs of pieces of art
were placed before me. For each one I had to identify and explain the piece, and
then there was a second question that had to do with the detail of either the
artist or the style of the piece. I feel like I did all right, but it was the best I could do,
so I am satisfied. (I also had my Photography Final Critique.. but that was a joke. Everyone loved my work. Actually everyone loved everyone's work. Charles just talked mostly. He does that often.)
Today in the streets of Firenze there were wild protests. I
do not know what these men were fighting about, but the city is on edge. There
were helicopters flying around (this is really rare) and I was surrounded by
men in uniform with bats, and helmets with face masks running to “designated
protest areas.” It was exciting. If I get any news on what exactly was going
down, I will inform you. Currently the rumor is something with a neighboring
African country…. But that has not be confirmed. Don’t worry mom, I am safe and
sound.
Isabella and Felix came over for dinner tonight. For those
of you who do not remember, they are my two friends from the break dancing
group. We had a delicious pasta dinner (surprised?) and then played a few
rounds of the card game Spoons and finished with a great game of Bullshit.
There were lots of laughs. I am going to miss those two.
We finished the night (when I say we, I mean Joanna and
Rachel and I) by watching the film The Truman Show. It is hard to explain. I
suggest you look it up. Watch it. Then watch it again. It was a mind blower.
Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide Item Number thirteen is: Something
that is off the market: The Parmesan Cheese Pencil Sharpener.
(Just so you know, before this I wanted to put a copy of
FUKT magazine on, but I could not find if you could purchase it! Is it an
online only thing? This gift thing is a disappointment. Look at this link http://www.fukt.de/
and tell me if you can find a price. Who knew trying to play Santa’s helper
could be so darn frustrating.) I give up. Listen folks, I have been collecting
cool things for the passed two months and the last few nights I have become
heart broken when the truth about these objects come out. I was thrilled to
find this product. A pencil that shaves off cheese is genius! I was excited to
show you this wonderful device. It’s unique, it’s classy, it’s fun, it’s artsy,
it sold out completely after the first two weeks of sale time and the Germans
are not making any more. What kind of world do we live in!?
Where to find it online so you can at least look at it: http://jazarah.net/meet-the-parmesan-cheese-pencils/
Price: Haha. Funny.
Let’s try this again. Today’s gift item from your favorite
blogger is: TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU but I have to show it to you anyway. It is
the Rocking Italian Scooter Deluxe.
I stumbled on this beauty a month ago and it was not until
tonight that I noticed, not only that it was a lot of moolah, but also it is
hand made from a guy that lives in Turin, Italia. How perfect is that? In his
little “about this” section, he claims that the one you receive may be a little
different because he makes the special for order. He may charge the big bucks,
but considering what the process must be, I would buy this. I would buy this,
but then not let my children get near it.
Where to find it: http://www.etsy.com/listing/41381029/rocking-italian-scooter-deluxe
Price: $2,300.00
Okay, here is a gift closer to your price range. (I am
guessing Bill Gates and other million dollar owners are not interested in my
ramble. I am guessing my audience is more normal.) Introducing the: ‘Stache
Labbit Plush
Do not ask me whata labbit is, but isn’t this the cutest hipster stuffed animal you have
ever laid eyes on? Your kids would love to find this in their stockings! Even
your boyfriend/girlfiend would love to get this while out on a romantic date
that you will do before anyone else cause your cool and that is the hipster way
to do things. Embrace the ‘stache my ‘sters.
Where to find this: http://www.kidrobot.com/Toys/PlushToys/stacheLabbitPlush7Inch.html
Price: $15.95
And while we are on the topic of mustaches… you might as
well consider getting these bad boys too. Perfect for those men, and women, in
your life who can’t grow fuzz beneath their nostrils. TA DA:The Sunstache
Again, I do not know why they call it that. But you cannot
resist these fabulous pair of shades. Get one for the whole family! Hey, even
old Grandpa Joe would like to grow a bushy mustache once again! It’s a hell of
a lot better than those ones with the fake nose because you do not have to
breathe in plastic and you look natural. . . ish.
Where to find: http://us.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=23510506&parentid=SHOP_STOCKINGSTUFFERS&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,&navCount=0&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=SHOP_STOCKINGSTUFFERS&popId=GENERAL_CATEGORY&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=&cm_mmc=Social-_-FB-_-20111202-_-sunstache
Price: $8.00
And here is a crazy picture of me because I felt like there wasn't enough random on this post.
Tomorrow I have my Italian final. Wish me luck! Have a good night my friends. Stay classy.
P.S. Did you noticed I did not talk about the weather? You should be proud.
This post had the potential to be a good post, but then Word
decided to take extra long on loading, a minute to be precise, so now I cannot
say that I started writing at exactly 11:11. Even though I am not starting at
11:13, I will try and redeem some points with what I am about to show and tell.
As you may, or may not, know, this is my final full week in
Firenze, Italia. Bittersweet feelings have begun to wound up inside me. I am
desperately excited to be home with my ever so sweet family, but I do not want
to leave all this magic behind. The rest of my stay is pretty much already
planned out. Here is my schedule:
Monday (tomorrow): In the morning, I need to skip my little
buns over to the photograph printing palace to get my final prints printed. (I
dare you to say that ten times fast.) I went on Friday, but for some reason my
thumb drive would not work in their system, so I am going back for round two.
After that, I have Italian Language class.
Tuesday: Bright and early at ten o clock I have my final
Italian Art History class. This is where I will take the final exam (wish me
luck) and say goodbye to the sweetest little teacher ever: Linda. I will miss
her dearly. Then, I have my photography final critique, which is a piece of
cake. Later that night, Felix and Isabella are coming over for dinner. It is so
hard to say goodbye!
Wednesday: I will take my final for Italian Language. I am
pretty sure it is going to be a hard one, but I will go in there and do my
best. One thing I am positive about is that I will NOT miss Nicola’s teaching,
but I will miss his character. What a funny man.
Thursday: If all goes to plan, I will not have a photography
class today. It is the pack and clean the apartment day! Woot! I feel like it
is going to be emotional. The three of us (Joanna, Rachel, and I) are going to
go out to dinner for a little “last supper” kind of thing. It is weird to think
I will never see these girls again.
Friday: I have my Cinema final, which should be easy peasy
lemon squeezey. (KNOCK ON WOOD.) And then it’s the finishing touches before
departure.
Saturday: Everyone leaves. I have to leave the apartment
before 12:00 where I will then proceed slowly to my hotel across the river.
Becca flies in later that night!!
Sunday: Show Becca my city.
Monday: Show Becca my city and get to bed early.
Tuesday: COME HOME!
What a week to come! Strap on your seatbelts folks. It is
going to be a rollercoaster!
Now lets talk about Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide item number
eleven: Candiware
This gift is for all the ladies who love food. I do not know
about your friends/girlfriends, but if they are anything like me, they love a
food experience. And why not celebrate this love of food by wearing it as a
beautiful accessory! Did I mention they are scented!?
Where to find this: http://www.etsy.com/shop/CandiWareJewelry
Price: $12.00 and up
Speaking of Christmas! I took a little walk through the city
tonight. Every street is lined with lights and decorations, take a look:
The city is breathtaking. It is like walking through a
Disneyland Christmas! This has been a productive day for me and I am exhausted.
So, now I bid you goodnight! Have a wonderful rest of your evening. I miss you
and love you.
or maybe it is just my eyes. i can not tell. i havent washed my make up off and i probably wont because i am too lazy to get out of bed right now. I am so tired. I should be sleeping, but i cant fall asleep. I dont know why i keep rambling about my sleeping problems to you- so sorry. I dont really know why i am writing this. I just thought i needed to write. My creative writing teacher told us that even if we dont know what to write to keep writing even if we write "i do not know what to write" a few times because eventually something will come to mind. im kind of really jealous of gabrielle's ability to make best friends with the guys. just saying. i think i might need to actually take off my make up. It is hurting my face. I dont even have that much. Oh and yes. The two of them are actually dating. No he isnt dating me. Thanks for wondering silently though. Goodnight.
actual sign. no i didnt see it. i stole it from a website. yes stole. dont call the cops. its not worth it tonight.
Have you tried going school shopping yet? It is absolutely impossible. Tonight I aerobic shopped throughout the entire Gateway mall and could not find one damn thing except for a purple water bottle. (I had to get a new one because I had this nice pink one that had stickers on it and was so perfect- but then i put it in the freezer and bottle exploded on me!) It was slightly very depressing to walk into a complete crowded store and walk out feeling like you are the only one who didn't see something to buy and are now officially empty handed except for a water bottle from Dicks (awful name.) And all i wanted to buy was one or two outfits for the first days of school and/or for the She and Him concert on thursday (I want to look extra cute for some reason)
Next subject to discuss: I can not seem to fall asleep at all the past month. I lay in bed and think of everything and anything and everyone and their dog. It is awful. I tried counting sheep, i tried thinking of sleep- but nothing works. Once i fall asleep i am fine, but that does not happen until three am.
Okay I am about to do a lame girly thing but i need to for the betterness of my own soul. (that sounded lame) I like this guy. Actually i never stopped liking him since i met him freshman year, but he is older and there is no way he would like me back right? Right- but i cant give up the dream of him liking me back. Anyway. I thought we kind of had something going- at least good friends. We would text constantly and he would say things that made me sure that he was falling madly in love with me, but i guess i misunderstood or was just blinded by his beauty and charm because I think he introduced me to his girlfriend the other night. Kind of really depressing huh? I cant stop thinking about him though.. like i just want him to text me or call me and tell me that the sunset looks beautiful like it used to. I guess i am just dreamer.
On another sad topic, school starts on wednesday. Senior year. I know i should be excited but i am not. I am actually stressing this whole college thing. I don't know what to do, or how to write a personal statement or what that even is. I don't know how to sell myself (because clearly i cant get a guy to like me back since freshman year.) How do i know what to do? I want to grow up and go to college but i want someone to fill out the forms and get me to where i want to go. Pathetic eh?
