oh my life is a wonderful piece of art.

My Firenze journey has changed locations. Instead of writing this post from the comfort of a yellow kitchen under a window that looks upon eerie statues of children, I am sitting in the center of queen size bed looking out the window where the sun settled against the dirty red tiled roof and flowers.

Hotel Bretagna feels like the Hilton of Italy.  I checked in this morning and they already knew who I was and were waiting to help carry my bags to my room (where were they on the long treacherous walk to the hotel? Hee hee.) When I asked the lady at the front desk what the best way was to ensure that I had a taxi leaving the hotel at four a.m. on Tuesday morning she seemed very confused. I asked if I should do it the night before and have it reserved. She told me just to do it that morning. I looked at her with utter shock as my mouth uttered “You mean someone will be at the front desk that early?” She looked at me like I was speaking fluent German and said “of course, we are here twenty four seven.” I really wanted to reply with a “ well excuse my confusion but every other Italian hotel I have ever stayed in, the owner went to bed and doors were locked until seven.” But instead I smiled sweetly and said perfeto, like a true Italian, if I may add. 

(this is what I looked like when she told me that they are there all hours of night. the only difference was that I was by myself and I still had my shirt on)

My room is huge and welcoming. The bed sits in the frame of the window, to the left a large desk and dresser with a full size mirror. (The full sized mirror earns double points because every girl needs a full-length mirror in order to complete getting ready.)

The bathroom is beautiful. It has fully convinced me that when I have my own house I want a square sink. The shower looks like a space station and it was out of this world talking a shower in it. Let me tell you what it’s all about. It is a box. It has three showerheads. The first is your standard circle detachable showerhead coming from the left corner. On the ceiling there is a giant sunflower shaped showerhead. And then there is a bench, with three rows of ten misters. You can turn each on one individually. Oh also, did I mention that there is a special light that is dimmed and relaxing and it has an Italian radio station built in? Well it does. I could live in it. This shower was worth the entire trip over here. All I can say is thank goodness I do not have this at home or at the apartment I spent the last four months in, because our water bill would be on fire.

Now I know you are probably thinking “wow. This chick showed up to the hotel at ten in the morning and spent the entire day in the shower” but I am here to inform you that I did leave, not only the shower but also, the hotel. After wiping the sweat off my brow from that extra large work out to hike over the piazza’s to get to my hotel (but it was worth it,) I went out to explore the town. Now my hotel is only a block away from the Ponte Vecchio (aka the most amazing thing on earth,) so I did not have to walk far to find excitement. Now I have not photographic proof of this event because it was too crowded to even thinking of getting a shot of the action, but people were golfing off the bridge. It wasn’t just a few old Italian men who had a few too much to drink. No this was an actual planned, sponsored, announced, full on, golf tournament. They were positioned on a platform on the edge of the bridge. Then out on the river were large patches of floating grass boats with those little flags in the hole. (My aunt Michael just had a heart attack about how badly I am describing this golf set up. Please forgive me for butchering your sport Michael. I just do not know the terms and flags in the hole pretty much sum it up for me.) They would putt off of it and try to make it on these boats. It was the most interesting thing. Hopefully I can get in there and document it tomorrow.

Since this was such a big deal, the city was crowded and alive. The streets were busy with crazed Italian Christmas shoppers (much more elegant and intense than those we have in Uh-Merica.)  Piazza Rubbuplica had Volvo booths set up and giant television screens. There was even Santa. Oddly enough, no one wanted to sit on his lap and tell him what he or she wanted for Christmas.

I also stumbled upon this group of adorable, incredibly talented, elementary school children singing Christmas songs. It really put me into the Christmas spirit and I watched them for about an hour.

(Please note the video may not be done processing. I just uploaded my first Youtube video after three failed attempts to upload the video in different formats right to the blog.)

I was the only “tourist” who stayed and watched. I kept getting odd looks from the parents so I decided to adopt a kid and pretend she was my sister. I would smile and clap after the instructor said something that I did not understand. I think people started to believe it. The girl in the on the second row, four people in, is my adoptive singing sister for an hour. She is very animated and we look nothing a like. 

The one thing that annoyed me about this concert was the parents and their iPhones. Now I am one for the iPhone. I think they are great, classy, everyone should have one. BUT there were text message dings going left and right like they were trying to recreate the tune of jingle bells. These parents could not just sit there and watch their kids (like I was doing,) they had to play on their iPhones.

Speaking of iPhones, let’s talk about Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide Number Eighteen: The Dokkiri Hand Case

Do not even ask where I found this. BUT although it is creepy as hell, what a great gift. I just cannot express my feelings about holding hands with your iphone. It will really create a bond to your friend electronic.

Where to find: http://www.strapya-world.com/categories/6034_6035_6136.html

Price: I think $65.00’s

And then just for another phone excuse reasoning here is the: Native Union Pop Phone Handset:

Classic. Simple. Retro. This is for the people that you do not think will find the humor in the hand one. (If you are a buying a gift for me you should know that I am not one for the hand one and secondly I do not have an iPhone.)

Where to find this: http://www.nativeunion.com/us/popphone.html

Price: $29.90

Now back to my day.

The most exciting part of my day is when a fifty-euro bill literally blew in my direction. I stepped on this piece of paper at my feet and goodness gracious it was money. I was thrilled! How many times do you get to claim a random fifty-euro bill as yours!? Never. Never. Never. Except this once. I decided that with this little find I was going to treat myself to something really nice.

 I was walking through San Lorenzo and I saw it: the cutest leather messenger bag. I walked over to the woman, grey hair and a touch of crazy, and asked her how much it was. To my surprise her English was flawless as she spoke, like a waterfall mind you, that it was ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EURO. I was crushed, but I knew I had to have it and I had to have it for fifty euro. I turned on my Concrete Rodeo Swag Skills (for you who do not know what this is, it is a little talent my father passed to me. I walk into a skate shop and walk out with more product than he would ever get. If I learned anything on the skate tour it is how to bargain (and how to dry out sweaty skater money and take showers with only twenty five cents and three minutes.) I talked to her about the quality of the bag, she told me how it was made and showed me pictures of the artist’s wife. I told her my story. I am student who is studying art for the past four months and was recently kicked out of my apartment because the term end and now is spending the last three days in a hotel alone because my best friend had flight complications. The last part really got to her. She even called over her little assistant guy and told him and he said “give her a discount mama, she is a pretty girl.” I wanted to hug this boy. To bad he was way old and too short for me because after that line and what it got me, we could have gotten married. She dropped the price to fifty euro. In conclusion I got two hugs from people I had just met wishing me happy holidays and a real, paten leather, sexy, red, hipster, Italian, messenger bag, that some poor soul with a hole in his wallet bought for me.

Oh my life is a wonderful piece of art.

(Yes. I did just tie my life in to art in a cheesy line so i could show you this photograph i took of a spray can street artist that I found today. Worth all that extra cheese, eh?) 

Now I am sitting in bed (like I mentioned earlier) and Italia’s version of VH1, DeeJay, is having karaoke night on the television. They are playing loads of random songs (ABBA to The Backstreet Boys, Amy Winehouse to The Killers, Cold Play to songs from Grease the Musical) music videos, but with the lyrics on the bottom of the screen. When the artist sings the lyrics, the words change to orange. It is actually really great because the lyrics will come up and I will have one of those “oh so that is what they actually say there... hmm... that is much different than what I was saying” moments.

So I am sitting in a comfortable bed, in a beautiful city, at one o clock on a Sunday morning singing to myself while writing this letter to you. You should feel special for that.

Good morning to Europe, Good evening to my fans back home. :)

(Spell check just corrected my smiley face for me. I originally had this : ) but then they told me this :) was grammatically correct.)

xoxo

9 days left and christmas cheer

This post had the potential to be a good post, but then Word decided to take extra long on loading, a minute to be precise, so now I cannot say that I started writing at exactly 11:11. Even though I am not starting at 11:13, I will try and redeem some points with what I am about to show and tell.

As you may, or may not, know, this is my final full week in Firenze, Italia. Bittersweet feelings have begun to wound up inside me. I am desperately excited to be home with my ever so sweet family, but I do not want to leave all this magic behind. The rest of my stay is pretty much already planned out. Here is my schedule:

Monday (tomorrow): In the morning, I need to skip my little buns over to the photograph printing palace to get my final prints printed. (I dare you to say that ten times fast.) I went on Friday, but for some reason my thumb drive would not work in their system, so I am going back for round two. After that, I have Italian Language class.

Tuesday: Bright and early at ten o clock I have my final Italian Art History class. This is where I will take the final exam (wish me luck) and say goodbye to the sweetest little teacher ever: Linda. I will miss her dearly. Then, I have my photography final critique, which is a piece of cake. Later that night, Felix and Isabella are coming over for dinner. It is so hard to say goodbye!

Wednesday: I will take my final for Italian Language. I am pretty sure it is going to be a hard one, but I will go in there and do my best. One thing I am positive about is that I will NOT miss Nicola’s teaching, but I will miss his character. What a funny man.

Thursday: If all goes to plan, I will not have a photography class today. It is the pack and clean the apartment day! Woot! I feel like it is going to be emotional. The three of us (Joanna, Rachel, and I) are going to go out to dinner for a little “last supper” kind of thing. It is weird to think I will never see these girls again.

Friday: I have my Cinema final, which should be easy peasy lemon squeezey. (KNOCK ON WOOD.) And then it’s the finishing touches before departure.

Saturday: Everyone leaves. I have to leave the apartment before 12:00 where I will then proceed slowly to my hotel across the river. Becca flies in later that night!!

Sunday: Show Becca my city.

Monday: Show Becca my city and get to bed early.

Tuesday: COME HOME!

What a week to come! Strap on your seatbelts folks. It is going to be a rollercoaster!

Now lets talk about Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide item number eleven: Candiware

This gift is for all the ladies who love food. I do not know about your friends/girlfriends, but if they are anything like me, they love a food experience. And why not celebrate this love of food by wearing it as a beautiful accessory! Did I mention they are scented!?

Where to find this: http://www.etsy.com/shop/CandiWareJewelry

Price: $12.00 and up

Speaking of Christmas! I took a little walk through the city tonight. Every street is lined with lights and decorations, take a look:

The city is breathtaking. It is like walking through a Disneyland Christmas! This has been a productive day for me and I am exhausted. So, now I bid you goodnight! Have a wonderful rest of your evening. I miss you and love you.

Xoxo

life’s too short to even care at all.

 Hello from my bed. It may be only 7:00 but I already have my fuzzy socks on and am positioned under the covers. The lights are even off. No, I am not ready for bed; it is just kind of really chilly in this apartment, and I didn’t want to sit in those uncomfortable squeaky chairs in the kitchen. Italians obviously do not believe in decent warming devices in their apartments (probably because they do have a lot more hair on their bodies than other countries… but STILL. I am a hairless American who needs to be warm!) Okay, I am over exaggerating a little bit. Truth is, my bed is comfortable and I like the way the comforter practically glows in the dark because it is so neon yellow.

I apologize for such an awful introduction paragraph. Lets try this again.

Young the Giant’s most recent album is playing through my headphones right now as my feet are cuddling underneath my neon yellow comforter. The only light coming into the room is from the sliding propped open door. This square shadow of light (play on words, eh?) is enough light to frame Rachel’s bed in a halo like fashion. I am wearing my “your blog sucks” tee shirt and feeling really good about life.

Now, wasn’t that better?

Italy was beautiful today. This morning, I woke up with a burst of energy that needed to be set free. I harvested this emotion by going out on an hour long stroll, wandering through streets, kicking leaves up in the small park to the left, and watching old men row boats down the Arno river. It was truly refreshing.

I simply love this city. Walking home from school after class today, I really tried to soak in everything I passed. I have become so accustom to the route from casa mia (my house) to the school, that I sometimes take for granted how magical Firenze is. For example, as I was walking I breathed in deeply (with my new nose!!) the smells of home cooking, cigars, and that certain Italian city smell (no, not the pee and beer smell thank you, there is another one that I cannot put a name to.) I was walking down the little side street and I noticed the steam coming out of what looked like an air vent for one of the walled apartments. The way it swirled up and dispensed into the cold air as thick white petals was entrancing. I still smile at the lines of clothes that hang out of windows, even though it is a common sight in my days here. Now that I have lived her for so long, I can look passed the tourist monuments and really fall in love with the sweet subtitles.

I have begun to develop the feeling that every city is like this. Salt Lake City is just as beautiful as here, but I do not take the time to notice its details because I realize that I have taken it for granted. You never know what you have until it’s gone right?

Italian language is one of my least favorite classes because I hate being put on the spot and failing miserably when I am. BUT on the plus side, I love the challenge of trying to learn this new, beautiful, language. I want to learn! Oh goodness, my life is so hard. Just kidding. : ) Italian class was alright today. My fingertips were really cold. I have mentioned my pronunciation/spelling problem before, well now in class it is kind of a joke. For example, we were changing verbs from present to past tense, and Joanna chose my word to be the hardest one in the whole wide world (not really) to pronounce just because we all know how I st st stutter. I cannot remember it now and cant look it up in my notes cause I left my notebook at school, but know that it was hilariously hard (for me.) Oh well. Italian class is one of those classes that you dread going to, but once you are there you are fine, and everyone leaves laughing. Nicola may be an awful teacher, but he quite the character. 

This has nothing to do with anything, but it made me laugh. I thought you would need a little giggle on your Monday. 

Thanksgiving is obviously not celebrated here (if you do not know why… you have some serious problems that you need to figure out before reading any further. Google it.) Despite the country we are living in, Joanna, Rachel and I have decided to make a feast. We made a list of items we like to eat and divided them up between the three of us. I am in charge of a fruit and mashed potatoes. I am thinking maybe doing my family’s favorite apples in orange juice mixture and maybe some pomegranates.

Grandma, when Michael reads this to you, please know that I will not do your mashed potatoes justice and I am sending up my white flag. There is no competition; you have already won. Hopefully I will come in at least a close fifth place on the “good mashed potatoes” list. It cannot be very hard right? I mean I do not have a blender or anything... Is it unsanitary to use a rock? (I am only joking Rachel & Joanna; you honestly do not need to worry about if there are going to be dirt and other earthy materials in your buttery potatoes.) 

All I can say is thank goodness I am not in charge of the turkey.

Music Monday Update: Check out the song “Hotel Song” by Regina Spektor. It is a current love of mine.

I finished Like Water for Chocolate. Please read it. I had chills of wonderful emotion through out the entire thing. It is an easy, magical, read. (Please note that the picture to the right is not the real cover of the book, but an illustration someone did. I found it on google and liked it. That is all. ) 

Also, in the news of the social networking, I think you will find great pleasure in the new follower my twitter account has gained. “Titsoffire” has indeed started to follow my unwitty, too quotey, status update, tweet feed. I feel honored, really. Not many people can say that someone with such a great name is one of their 92 followers. 

My final statement deals with a lot of exclamation marks. Prepare yourself:

MY BEASTIE BECCA IS COMING TO VISIT ME OFFICIALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for reading! Ciao. Xoxo

*title: “Cough Syrup” by Young the Giant

my day.

• i drove to school topless. 
• Listening to Madonna- of course
• parked/stalled the car in my spot in the lot
• walked across the parking lot
• waved to Ryan and Ian in the silver car
• laughed about how lame I am
• went to creative writing
• finished writing my monologue 
• spelled my last name wrong
• sent Grey a text
• walked to productions with Grey and Danny
• wished i was a super hero 
• auditioned for Bang Bang Your Dead
• wished really hard I got Emily or Katie
• called Becca
• had lunch with Becca and company
• listen to a gay guy call my guy friend hot while he walked by. 
• laughed about it to myself.
• went to AP LIT
• told Sam that we are not in kindergarten and he doesn't need to steal my stuff
• I said it a little nicer than that
• listened to Lake talk about the test
• cringed at the idea that i am going to fail this grammar test
• got over it
• then cringed again
• started to cry
• not really but my brain was sobbing
• packed my stuff
• walked down the hall with Becca
• went to Franks room and asked about my photography
• he said i was talented
• i said thank you
• walked to the student parking lot
• tripped over the rock in the road
• felt stupid
• got over it
• drove home topless listening to....
• i dont remember
• not really that important
• told my father about my great day
• ordered my prints 
• drove topless to play practice
• said hi to amy
• arrived ten minutes late
• disrupted everything buy saying "im so out of it" way to loud
• rehearsed my parts
• became the part Betty Blast
• go me.
• got a script
• went home
• had dinner at noodles and company with the family
• ran errands
• picked up my prints
• watched glee
• was disappointed with glee
• took a shower
• put lotion on my face
• wrote this post
• looked at photographs
• went to bed

don't dial any numbers off of "how is my driving?" bumper stickers unless you want to have sex for 15% off.

I am sitting on deck this morning, just got home from the gym, and I am eating Special K Granola with "a touch of honey." Yum. It tastes good but there are not enough large clumps of honey granola goodness. Bummer. Anyways. I had planned on writing this post yesterday, and then when that didn't happen, last night, but that did not happen because I did not get home till the break of dawn. (Okay i lied. I got home at midnight, but one is allowed to exaggerate for emphasis that I was out last night late.) So anyways. I do not know where I was going with this. . . OH I should tell you about what happen to my mother and I driving today.

So we were driving right, me and mother, (i feel like I said that already) and we came across this car with a bumper sticker on the back that read "How is my driving? Call 1-800- EAT- SHIT" (pardon my french) And my Mother- being the carefree, wonderful, curious, women she is- said "I wonder if that is really someone's number?" To me that clearly was a hint to dial it and find out. I typed it in carefully making to spell EAT SHIT correctly. It rang once. Than disconnected me. I immediately received a text message. I opened it up and it read something along the lines of " Want to have steamy sex tonight with a hot babe in your area? Reply Yes to this number right now and you can get 15% off your next sex session" SO that was abbreviated and it did not have all the language and vulgar terms- i thought i would do you a favor and nit expose your innocent ears to such language. Moral of the story is don't dial any numbers off of "how is my driving?" bumper stickers unless you want 15% off sex.

I think it is high time for a music monday! Yay! I know it is not Monday, and it is in fact Tuesday, but you were deprived of music mondays yesterday so I would like to catch up. (I know this will be only the 2nd time Music Monday's has happened, but let us forget about that slight detail. Okay? Okay.) Today's musical artist is Memory Tapes.  (You probably have not heard of them due to the fact you are probably musically uneducated. But That is why I am here. )

Hometown: New Jersey.

The lineup: Dayve Hawk (vocals, music).

The background: The music of Memory Tapes is somehow creamy yet computerised, rapturous yet rhythmic, danceable yet dreamy. Dreamy is the word: Dayve Hawk, who is Memory Tapes, makes electronic dance music that is like a dream you might have had of a bunch of ghosts, of tribal dance around a blundering fire, or a swirly, psychedelic disco – the songs sound like what you have always imagined the aforementioned artists would make, even if you never got round to hearing them; like all the descriptions, all the evocative adjectives, you have ever read about them, transposed into sound. It's the best thing i've heard all week. (So that is a lie. I do not choose favorites. Songs might get left out.) 

Mr. Tapes is quite aloof and elusive, even if he does state that it's not his intention "to be wilfully mysterious". He's a stay-at-home dad of 28, "just some dude from southern New Jersey", who's "not that great with computers", can't drive, and doesn't own a mobile phone. Typical. He's remixed Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Peter Björn and John, and Britney Spears, which has predictably wowed the blogerati, and Michael Jackson's "people" have invited him to do one for a remix album, although he insists, "I'm not a DJ, and I'm not trying to rock a party" (even though he rocks my party) He describes himself as "a real spaced-out kid – I used to walk around in circles and envision this world happening around me. I would just come home from school and mess around in the basement until bedtime: recording, hooking things up, learning different instruments." He began working on material for Memory Tapes in high school, and ended up "having an email correspondence with the Cocteau Twins", who offered to bring him to England to record at September Sound, but it didn't happen – no phone = no plane ticket to Blighty. Now he makes budget-lavish, languorous disco, over which he warbles ethereally – many assume he's a woman. He's not, he's just in tune with the liquid and libidinal.  

Memory Tapes - "Bicycle" from Jamie Harley on Vimeo.

Memory Tapes : Treeship from Chris May on Vimeo.

Site & Sound: Memory Tapes from VanLou Media on Vimeo.

Enjoy. 

Lets talk about that lightning last night. Incredible. I do wish that it was raining, but the flashes in the night sky were insane. Last night in general was pretty enjoyable. It was nice and needed. Especially for my beastie Becca- who had a bad day. Here's a list: (you know how I love my lists) 

• do not have the dude behind the counter open your sparkling water unless you are going to go drink it right that. it will go flat and it will loose flavor and you will end up drinking it for hours and people will think you are weird
• did you know you can not really see your computer screen when you are out in the sunlight working? well you can't. 
• i edited my musical library last night and gave every song a title and artist (i had a lot that didn't have titles are artists.) I am proud of myself. Happy Ipod. 
• thats what she said jokes are not funny unless sung about in a song by Kramer and Max
• according to some people- shark week is more important that hanging out with friends
• Bonniville has a nice play ground but you should not go in the tunnel because things happen in there... AHH 
• Baja Blast Mountain Dew is not as good as others might say- but it is a taco bell original 
• you should always carry around a piece of paper and a pen so Paul can write down the titles to every song on your cd that you do not know the names of. 
• Jocelyn got a new cat. 
• and last but not least... how many blow jobs is enough blow jobs? 

Have a good day folks. Love you. xoxo