the first impression rose

Happy Friday the thirteenth and here is a toast to the weekend that is about to come. Also, let’s open that figurative keg and poor me a figurative glass of beer in celebration to the finishing of my first week at a real university. Yahoo, I cannot believe I made it. I met a lot of new people, no that is a lie, I SAW a lot of new people this week, got lost more than once and did not ask for directions or look at a map (which would advertise my newbie status if I did,) and I parked in the student zone with my new permit in a lot that is more than freezing away from my destination. Ah, isn’t college grand? No, really, it was a very good week, and I am going to tell you all about it.

In order for me to give you a glimpse at my first week, we are going to play a little game of The Bachelor: Back to School Edition.

Now for those of you who do not watch that dreadfully addicting sort of television, let me give you a little background on what happens in the first episode.   The show begins with me:

The eligible, sweet, hopeless leaner, who is just looking for someone to spend the rest of my educational semester with. I am dying to be happy and find that perfect professor. I wait, in the student union, to meet the lovely educators who want to be mine and teach me everything their little minds have to offer through compassion and textbook readings.

In each class I meet a contestant and they try to make a first impression on me. See, at the end of the week (today) I give out the “first impression rose” to the professor I want to really learn more in their class with. It is critical to get a rose on the first night, or else I will drop the class and that professor has to make the walk of shame and cry in front of a camera. It is a dramatic experience and I have to make a very difficult decision. But before that happens, let’s meet the educators: 

First is Norman Elliot from Intro to Interpersonal Communication.

This may not be an actual picture of Norm, but he sure does look like him (with a little extra pounds. making his sweater stretch and his buttons weaken) Norm is a funny, video clip, open guy who is always willing to communicate his emotions and tell you what they mean.

Next to walk in the union is Mister Foundations of Business, Richard Dunie.

Richard likes to teach classes that have an eighty boy to ten girl ratio. He also likes pointing out that old Dickenson does not think that Harry Potter is educational reading. His downfall is his lack of knowledge of how to set up a computer to the projector.

Coming from the building of BEH is the discussion leader for Analysis of Argument, Maurianna Shelbourn.

Mauri may just be an aid, but with her wild red locks (not demonstrated in the photograph because that is really not her) and the piercing that looks out of place on her left eye brow, we know that she will keep it awkward and go “beyond the textbook.”

Stopping by during my lunchtime is Argument Analyzer, Michael Middleton.

This guy is younger than the picture shows because the picture is actually a visual representation of his non-related name twin, the father of the new young bride of England. He is excited about his job and likes to roam around the auditorium while teaching.

Late night movie geek, Chris Lippard with Intro to Film comes with not only a scarf but also an English accent:

He may teach a four hour class that ends at ten, but his movie choice is wide and entertaining. It includes everything from Citizen Kane to The Big Lebowski. He does not like to sit on tables because they are not chairs.

And last, but not least is Natalie Nyman, the discussion cow girl of Intro to Interpersonal:

She may look like Dj Tanner from full house, but this girl has a ring on her left finger and love for asking what your favorite food is. She also is an early riser and when she has nothing to say, she lets you go early. What a gal! (Please note the picture is really Dj Tanner and not Natalie.)

Now that we have met our educators, it is time for me to get to know them through their classes. And YOU, as a reading audience, get to read the inside scoops. We begin on a Monday. . .

My first class of the college experience was Intro to Interpersonal. This class is all about the communication between people and what it all means. I walked out realizing that every person we meet we form a relationship with, weather it be long lasting or short lived.

That evening I went to Business Foundations. It was here that Channing Tatum’s look a like sat three chairs away from me (that is why is picture is included in the cast shot shown earlier.) I even made a friend in this class, her name is Crystal (I think) and she wants me to take photographs of her babies at a cheap price. Oh, the class is about the foundations of business and we learned about Christopher Columbus and his “native employees.”

Tuesday, the only class I got to spend time in was with Suzy Q (aka Maurianna.) This class was kind of pointless because it was the discussion class to a class that I had yet to attend. The people with me included professional glass blowers and a girl who looked sweet but actually likes to hunt and kill deer.

Wednesday I had a second chance to get to know the Interpersonal educator. It was nice to get some more time before this final decision.

On Thursday, I was taught about arguments and how to analyze them. The most surprising thing about this class so far is that I actually know someone in it! Madi answered a question and all though she was sitting behind me, I knew it was her voice.

That night, I watched Citizen Kane in my Intro to Film class where I was encouraged not to take any notes because he will give us the notes already typed up.

And today, my final class of the week was getting to know Natalie for Intro to Interpersonal.  All we did was some slight awkward introductions and were released thirty minutes early. I could not believe that I woke up early, took a shower, and got presentable, ran to class in the cold, and then sat there for twenty minutes only to be told we could leave cause there was nothing else to say.

After meeting each professor, I sat down in my kitchen, all alone, eating wheat thins, and made a critical decision.

Tonight, I give the first impression rose to Chris Lippard with Intro to Film. He was enthusiastic and funny and I cannot wait to spend the rest of the semester with him.

Chris, will you accept this rose?

xoxo