Guitars and Skateboarders...WTF?

I have so many dreams i cant stand it anymore. I want to play the guitar like i used to. I have the guitar i just cant play it. I want to learn to be really good on a skateboard. I have the board, just no skill. Okay so i dont have alot but that is what im going to work on. Im going to need your prayers though (Our Father who arent in heaven hollow be thy name and forgiv Audrey, she knows not what she does) That is what im going to work on the next few days. So check in with me to keep the update.

On Friday is the Concrete Rodeo Tour Event in (uh....i dont remember) But anywho im super excited. I love to help run these things. I wake up at six in the morning to go set up at the skate park. We set up tents and banners. Get music playing by seven o clock to drive the near by neighbors crazy (great stuff when they come put in their robes and slippers and start yelling at us about how they own a bakery and stuff) Registration (which i run) starts at 9. Everytime a boy comes up they give me their number and twenty five dollars (shh....its registration stuff.....shh) I love it. Then the compotition starts at 11. Each competetor (spelling?) gets two 1 minuet runs. Then the top sixteen joust (head to head compotition) Its exciting. And if your reading this (which i doubt there is ever) You should totally come.

Any way...you should leave a comment. YEAH

xoxo

Unplanned Weirdness!

Today I woke up at like 12 o'clock. It was amazing. I went out to lunch with grandma, mom, and sister at Blue Plate. It was delicious. Then i cleaned, i know its not something i do, but i did it, for my Dad who is coming home tomorrow. I am so excited! He has been off running skateboard events on the other side of the country with Anthony. Anthony is this kid who works with my Dad. He has been living in our basement, and i have gone to school longer than he has just by completing my freshman year in high school. I know, SAD. But any who. Then Spencer and his girlfriend decided to drop in. They invited themself over and came and just played gutair hero. It was kind of awkward they sat really close together and were all flirty. I know i know, they are DATING but i was still there. Spencer then invited Aaron and Chase. That grew more weird. So i invited Amy. At the end i had a house hold full of people i wasnt planning on and a history of two hours of Gutair Hero. It was weird. I would text people and Amy would say TALK TO THE PEOPLE YOUR WITH. The problem was, i didnt want all these people. And now i have to clean my living room. I dont want sympathy, but that was my WonderFUL day.

Who exactly is your GF dating?

I sit down to write this pretty irritated....which doesnt happen to me alot. Okay well i have this friend, His name is Spencer. He has a girlfriend, at least that is what he calls her. But recently im so confused on who he is dating. It seems like the rest of us, us being his friends/group has to cater to Rachel's needs. He has only seen her twice. After the first meeting he asked her out, she said yes. Anyways, he made this huge thing to hang out with her, invited us all and such..He made it so we all have to meet at Natalie's. Natalie has to work tomorrow, so he told Rachel that it was canceled. He ownt see his own girl friend cause he cant use natalies house. So what does he do....Says we can do it at my house. I hate it. He like pushing the giant red button that doesnt need to be pushed. So i bravely said "Why not your house, it is YOUR girlfriend." He was like....uh......oh....and then okay i guess. I think he expected me to say okay we can do it at my House. So now we are going to his house. WOOOO..... Tomorrow at 1:00 his girlfriend is comming to my house to walk up to spencers because shes worried about what her grandma will say if she knows she is going to a boys house..oohh. Its going to be intresting.

Thats all i have to say. AHH! Later.

Hard to feel like you "fit in"

Hey. Its me. The one who usally writes on this thing. Well im in kind of a weird mood. I just got home from hanging out with my friends. We were at Sam's house. I came kind of later than everyone else. The minuet i walked through the door i felt slightly out of place. I went down the stairs following behind Sam as he led the way. I walked in the room and it seemed like all eyes were on me. (Which they probably werent) I walked over and hugged Lindsay, whom i hadnt seen for forever. Then i sat awkwardly on the floor. Trying to come into the "going no where" conversation. It was like that all night. I tried to be fun and invite people to go outside or walk down to the nearby school. But no one wanted to go, so.....Lindsay and I went.

While walking we walked past this lady that was drawing with chalk out on her drive way. Sure it was like what you and me use but her drawing looked amazing. Like the picture was a photograph or painted. It was so cool. She told us about the chalk walk down at Gateway she was in and was practicing for. I was amazed. We finally reach the school playground. It was alot of fun. We played hopscotch with these huge chunks of wood. I was just enjoying life.

We went back to the house and was ridiculed by the boys for being to childish. I dont know. The rest of the night was pretty boring. I felt like i didnt belong. I kind of wanted to just cry. You know when your completly surrounded by people, but you feel so alone? I felt like that. I probably should have just left and said i didnt feel good, but i didnt. I think im afriad that i will miss something. So i stayed. I got a ride home from Jacob's parent. I sat in the back of the truck with Morgan and Spencer. It was probably the best part. It was dark, and the wind blowing through my hair. I just felt free. No worries, no problems.

I got home and got a text from my friend that said that he thought i was staring at him all night. I feel really weird about it cause he has a girlfriend. Its not like i like him like that or something. Just the fact that everyone thought i was staring at him a bit much......Then to make my night just perfect my other friend kind of said that he was mad-in a nice way- for telling my other friend that he cared about her. Not in like a creepy i like you way, but as a friendship, like as he would for any of us. But the fact that she told him, kind of bummed me out.

I just want all this drama to go away. Im sick of it. With girlfriends, small disputes, misunderstandings and all......i just dont think its going to end.

9pm, a blanket, the moon, and a pair of ears

You know poeple trust you when they call you up at 9 o'clock on a friday night and ask if they can come over just to talk about something.

Last night my friend (names not given) told me she needed to talk with me and wanted to come over. I said of course, i mean i hadnt been doing anything that night that was thrilling, so why the hell not. I got two blankets, turned the back deck lights on and made some lemonade while i was waiting. (We never used the lemonade, but it looked amazing sitting on the kitchen counter) I heard her voice talking to someone so I ran up and opened the door. We sat on the deck and talked until 11 o'clock and her parental gaurdian made her leave. Sure say its just a chick thing, talking for hours about random stuff on our minds. (some guys can talk about anything with someone and the completely understand too) But i have to say it made me look at my life differently as i listened to my dear friend stressing.

She talked about her first kiss and how amazing it was. It made me realize how bad i really did wanted to fall in love. I want to find someone who can hold me close and tell me everything. Some one who can completely trust me and i him. But at the same time i dont. I like living where you can like the cute guys, all six of them. And can have fun just hanging out with them and going to movies like best friends. I dont want to complicate things or get people mad or start drama that no one needs. My mom says that she didnt go out (as in becoming boy friend and girlfriend) all through high school and when she got to college, the boys admired the not "over done" girls. Is it bad that i still want my first kiss. I want to go to dances and take my time getting ready for a night that will end way to soon. I want to get butterflys in my stomache when he askes you to dance. But i dont want it to all come so fast and be over. (i really went of subject, but isnt that what blogs are to do, make you write about what you are feeling?) i probably sound like some dramatic teen right now. But i think im more of a dreamer. And you cant stop that.

Thats all i have to say. It wasnt much, it didnt make sense, but its there written, and you did read it to this point.
Until next time- See ya!

Xoxo