Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

felice anno nuovo!

Here is to the wonderful 2012 and the adventures 2013 will bring.


In honor of the last year, i made this little poem/word vomit of a sentence or phrase from each post this past year. Thank you to those of you who read Verbaledudette. I wish you the best and a Happy New Year!

bless this mess, we tried our best.
 I am on the edge of my seat and near tears with excitement. 
free concert downtown. 
the first impression rose. 
University of Utah.
 a new flavor of man candy. 
audrey verses the job market. 
who would be my male stunt double if I was to have one?
 birthday weekend was amazing.
 screw the idea of waiting for magic, everyday is magic. 
notes from the non business major in a business class. 
call it A.D.D but I call it lack of motivation. 
Oh goodness. 
first kiss. 
we all love sexy man backs.
 internet sensation. 
The British Bad Boy. 
good night and sweet dreams. 
carpe diem. 
san francisco. 
academy of art university. 
sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world. 
love is a mixtape.
 sexy olympic games. 
neglected my male readers. 
He is six foot one of handsome.
 brief in words, but definitely not lacking in sex appeal. 
young, exotic, and a professional. 
you know how I like those man butts. 
Mmhmm. 
He is also shy. 
Phoebe, Kayleigh, Emme, Paisley, Savannah. 
roommates. 
perks of being a wallflower. 
raggamuffin. 
photography major. 
self portrait. 
time is such a hungry beast. 
touch me. 
i'm golden. 
wild as the wind blows. 
let's get lost. 
history with an accent. 
it's as simple as it should be. 
HoBro.
 homesick. 
silence is the most powerful scream. 
You have to know where you came from to know where you are going right? 
that awkward moment when your new friend turns out to be your teacher. 
Usually there is fog. 
juices, and water that has floating citrus in it. 
more inspirational and sappy over here. 
Today was just simply sweet. 
Sweet Disposition. 
I have reached the point where I officially know that I have made the right choice. 
i came here to do art, not make friends. 
toned graphic designers. 
rocky horror picture show.
 I am being a bit dramatic, but I did feel special. 
i am afraid to merge. 
people are in a panic. 
verbaledudette gift guide. 
It is decadent. 
It's witty. 
It's interactive. 
helping the locals.
 holiday spirit.
 big city life.
 I was lucky. 
have sex with a guy with a mustache. 
arts festival.
 right as rain. 
desperation. 
gay men will marry your girlfriends. 
haberdash. 
the awful truth. 
500th post. 
cold to the bone. 
i never used to win anything. 
not so silent night. 
Jack White, Of Monsters and Men, Metric, The Gaslight Anthem, and Two Door Cinema Club. 
crying in class. enthusiastic alone time.  
Oh how do I miss my family so much. 
stay gold. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

i count shutter speeds to go to sleep instead of sheep.


The heater in my bedroom doesn’t work & an art stool as your only chair looks cool but is unstable.

I am obsessed with my work so much that I begin to dream in black and white, with umbrella-covered lights in each of the corners.

I am drowning in art and I do not want to resurface.

Being in art school is constantly inspiring and it makes me want to do more and more and more. The problem is I do not have the resources I want. For example I want a vacant empty large white floored, brick wall studio, multiple models of all looks, all the fashionable clothes in the world (for my models and for me) and every sort of lighting studio equipment possible. (If anyone can provide me with any of these, please feel free to contact me immediately through all sources of communication techniques.) I am producing bodies of work weekly, getting stressed over the perfect shot, and wanting to shoot more.

Ah. It is wonderful.

Where do I even begin to fill you in with the crazy/many events that have encountered my life in the passed week? Let’s start off with The Haberdash.

About a month ago I entered a quick easy contest in SF Weekly for this men’s fashion-thing-that-I-knew-nothing-about. I quickly forgot about it because lots of people liked the post on Facebook; there was no way that I was going to win.

Last Tuesday after class there was an email in my inbox from SF Weekly with the subject header “Congratulations.” Instantly I thought it was spam, but I opened it anyway out of curiosity. Inside was the great surprise of two tickets to the Haberdash: “a celebration of men’s fashion and style.” The tickets were sixty dollars apiece and who got them for free? THIS GIRL.

After corresponding with the nice email lady, my name was put on the special people list.  

Wednesday night, Kayleigh and I adventured to the “hipster convention.”

Bow ties and Movember mustaches lined the sides of the building.

We skipped passed them, got our hands stamped, our names checked off the SPECIAL GUEST list (let me tell you, having them look up my name, saying “Miss Rotermund and plus one?” in front of lines of eager fashion sexual demons was the coolest feeling. It was like movie status, gettin’ in da clubs, droppin’ da namez and shiz.) Inside was a large dance floor area, a lit up enthusiastic bar, a runway, photo booth, and a DJ up on another level (like a god of music peering down on us playing Sky Ferreira’s “Everything is Embarrassing” making my night even better.) The night went as follows: fashion show (with many flamboyant sex symbols parading in nice tuxedos, ties, slacks, and oxfords,) SF local’s the A B & the Sea (folk/pop band) and LA native’s Wildcat! Wildcat! (the oddest looking mismatched to what they sound like band of awesomeness.)

I took over three thousand images (all of which can be seen at www.facebook.com/verbphoto) here are just a few:


Yes please.


No, this is not a man working a sexy set of stilettos. Yes it is a woman wearing a men's inspired attire working heels down the runway.


Matthew Mcconaughey much?


He had the swagger down. A sway to the left, now to the write, stare at the girl in the front to make her uncomfortably excited, stare to her boyfriend, flash the jacket, turn, walk. 


A B & The Sea. So cute, so humble.


Rwar, Wildcat!

 The night to follow Emme, Phoebe, Savannah, and I walked down to the Rickshaw Stop, waiting in line freezing, all in the glorious honor to see Sky Ferreira and Diamond Rings in concert (to which we bought tickets for weeks prior.)
the ladies.


Sky is grungy and wonderful. I melted as I screamed my lungs up my throat and sung terribly to every word, while dancing hard (and rather well if I may boast.) DId i mention we were front row?! We were so close, we could tell she had goosebumps and forgot to shave her knees! 


Diamond Rings is just as exciting live as you would imagine them to be while listening to them on CD. Nothing like a crazy Canadian sweating in a white tuxedo to get you in the mood to jump up and down.



Also, here is a taste of Sky Ferreira’s “Everything’s Embarrassing” music video. She is lovely & everyone should know of her.


So many fun events in so little time!

 I also forgot to mention that the week of Halloween my lovely Mother & Sister came to visit me for a surprise girl’s weekend! It was simply wonderful to play and laugh hard with these two ladies. We went all over, including the Golden Gate Bridge.


my best friends.


pearl "scene" girls.

There is only five weeks left in the semester. Can you believe it? I almost died when my professor gave us the outline for our final projects today.  My finals are going to be huge and hopefully exactly how I am imagining them. I do not want to give any hints or ideas out just in case they don’t go as planned.

I can’t jinx myself when all this creative blood is pumping through my system!

In future Verbaledudette news, I think I am going to bring back Verbaledudette’s Gift Guide. This means that if you stumble upon something that you think would be great items to advertise for the holiday spirit send me an email or post it on www.facebook.com/verbaledudette!

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday! xoxo

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

rocky horror picture show

life is good. i have not posted anything for a while and for that i apologize. it's been a little crazy over here on the bay - but a good crazy. this last weekend we partied hard for halloween and last night went to rocky horror. here are a few shots of the ladies from our photoshoots. enjoy.  :) 














happy halloween! 

Friday, October 19, 2012

fog, short buses, and a few classes later


If I ever questioned where my tuition money was going, it was answered this morning. I waited on the corner of 79 New Montgomery, in the foggy misty morning of the lovely San Francisco, for the “Hayes Express” to take me to the undergraduate registration building. The short white bus, marked clearly with Academy of Art logos and print, stopped in front of me. I approached the vehicle, entered, and sat down in the middle row next to the window. The driver switched shifts and we were off toward my destination. I was personally driven on my own short bus. I felt like a movie star as we rushed around traffic in the busy city. Everyone questioning who was on that short bus!

All right, I am being a bit dramatic, but I did feel special. Moral of the story is that I am now registered for spring semester and I am incredibly excited about it. First of all, all of my credits from the University of Utah and Firenze Arti Visve transferred! I saved two semesters worth of classes and money. For being told that none of my credits would transfer from either school – this was an exciting surprise.

My classes for next year are:
            Photoshop for photographers
            Quality of Light
            Visualization
            Written Communications of Art

Monday through Wednesday are 8:30 to 11:30 a.m. classes and the Thursday is 12:00 to 3:00 p.m. - exactly what I wanted.

The professors all have really good recommends. One is my favorite professor from this semester. He teaches very limited amount of classes and I never thought that I would get another opportunity to work with him. Another one was described as someone who is hard, pushes beyond the recommended course, and makes students work outside of their comfort zones. Mrs. Garcia (my personal representative) said, “He isn’t an easy class.” I just looked at her shocked that she would even question this and said, “I don’t want easy.” Turns out I am one of the few who wants a challenge because currently I am the only one registered for his class. Interesting, eh?

My morning was productive and made me excited for my future education. : ) Also, I found this quote that I simply fell in love with and find the desperate need to share it with it:

"to be modern is to find ourselves in an environment that promises us adventure, power, joy, growth, transformation of ourselves and the world - and, at the same time, that threatens to destroy everything we have, everything we know, everything we are." _ Marshall Berman

Have a great Friday! xoxo

Sunday, September 30, 2012

infinite

Years ago I discovered a book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Hana suggested it to me through a text and it has been my favorite book ever since. Nothing but 200 pages written on an eighth grade reading level, this book connects with anyone who reads it. 
Today I saw the film made after it and I cannot say anything but perfection. They captured the essence of the story, the vulnerability of the characters, the magic in the music, the innocence of humanity, and the frailty of life. Everything the book presents. 

I highly suggest you go and see it. : ) 

This weekend HoBro was on the go. Friday- Phoebe, Kayleigh, Emme, Paisley, and I, went to Berkley to curise around, met up with Kayleigh's boyfriend and Dennis (Kayleigh's friend,) hopped onto Bart (the subway system) and traveled to Oakland for an A's baseball game, and ended the night in Kayleigh's home town Brentwood for a sleepover. It was a fun little vacation from our vacation. Home cooked meals, a little sunshine, siblings, and hugs from a Mother were exactly what we needed. Also, Emme and Phoebe's American home experience and first baseball game were like watching little kids. Mostly, it made me homesick for my own family and home. Hmph. 








This week should be good. I have a final project due in fundamental's which I am excited to present. I am proud of my work and how far I have come in such a small amount of time. 

On Thursday, The Awful Truth is performing in an antique shop in the city. Now the cool thing about this band is that they are from Salt Lake City, just released their first album, AND i know them. They have circulated in the same group of friends as me. I know this is the ultimate hipster statement, but I saw them perform first at a small house show. I have seen them in three different venues since. The fact that I kind of got to watch to them grow and now they are on their first tour and I get to experience them outside of Salt Lake is exciting. I cannot wait to take photos! 

I hope you have an amazing night and a wonderful week! 

A little shout out to my good friend Cassie - her birthday was yesterday! Oh! And today is Connor's birthday! Woot! 

 

Friday, September 28, 2012

raggamuffin


"dear raggamuffin is one of the band
what you see is what you really need in the end
what you ever gonna gonna do I don't know

dear raggamuffin shall not fall down
cause she has the wisdom of a not fool around
what is a good sense under ground

you never had it easy I know
i still remember you and what we used to have so
this my song for you
you could only see that i, would never forget, anyways."

- Raggamuffin, Selah Sue

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

time is such a hungry beast

title: "waltz for pony" by boy


I write to you frustrated with the current situation my fellow students have present in a college setting. This last week we received an assignment in my Fundamentals of Photography class.

The assignment was simple: photograph a subject (that cannot move or be moved) in different ways, do not edit, change all to black and white, print a contact sheet with twenty of your best images, print one of those images, bring to next class to critique. There were no hidden rules, confusion in the details, or misleading statements. It was crystal clear. Elementary my dear. It was even printed word for word in full paragraphs on a hand out and in our syllabus received on the first day. No surprises.

Today in class, I was one out of five people in a classroom of twenty who did the assignment.

Out of those five people, I was the only one who followed the directions.

I sat there astonished as the excuses poured out of mouths around me.

“I did not understand it”

“I was busy.”

“I could not get my hands on the paper.”

Silently I answered them all in my head.

What did you not understand? If you were confused, you could have either called one of the numbers of the students in the class we exchanged on the first day, or you could have emailed our professor who stressed the importance of not being afraid to use his email and ask questions.

What exactly were you busy with for a whole week that you could not find the time to shoot at least twenty photographs of any object of your choice? I find this hard to believe because as beginners we are all in the same classes. I have the same workload as you. I had time to spare, even after doing homework for our other three classes, and spend a whole day walking from one bridge to the other. Did I mention I also had time to go to the movies?

I will agree, finding the paper was hard, but with an entire week, a cell phone, and Google, you could have found the paper is six different locations just on Main Street alone. If that wasn’t possible or maybe right now you cannot afford it, you could have dug up that contact sheet previously mentioned and asked a classmate where they got their paper or if you could borrow a few sheets. I know I would have said yes. Maybe you were too busy, that’s what happened wasn’t it?

Seriously, ladies?

We are in college. Not only are we in college, we are all adults. Legal adults. Adults who can take care of themselves, who know we have to pull our own weight, adults who can solve a problem when it comes up, an adult who knows what is expected of them and does what is expected.

Every time you show up to class unprepared you are not only throwing more than two hundred dollars out into the crisp wind, but you are wasting your time. Have you ever thought about how your lack of preparation affects my learning? Have you ever thought about how it makes Tim, your educator, feel that you do not take his class seriously or have the respect to follow through on little things he asks? Do you realize these projects and lectures and classes and textbook readings are not punishment or busy work, but actually have meaning that will help you in what is supposed to be your career choice?

I actually feel bad for you.

After brushing fifteen unprepared students to the side, I focused my attention on those who were prepared. They did the assignment; they deserved feedback, respect – just like I expected to receive in return. Critiques are the best way to learn and to grow. I learn from you, you learn from me. That is why I go to onsite classes and do not just sit home online in my pajamas and a bucket of ice cream.

The first to present set up her work. Her prints were in color. Her subject placed in different places around the yard. Her subject was in different positions. The only part that followed the instructions was that she printed out her work. The class responded to the colors of her work in excitement. They were drawn to it. As my teacher said “let’s pretend that it is in black and white and focus on the image and what she could do better” the next comment to follow was “I really like the colors of the garden and how it brings out her subject.” Did you really not just hear the words that came out of his mouth? He is done with the color. He wants to know about composition, about lighting, about anything other than the color that is not supposed to be there in the first place.

Let’s just say, we never got off the color wheel.

I presented mine next. I was eager to hear feedback. I wanted to know what I could do better, what did they notice that I didn’t, how did they feel, what parts they didn’t like. I put my simple contact sheet up next to my one black and white photo. The response was neither good nor bad. Nor was it helpful. No one said anything without exaggerated prompting from my professor. They commented on my model (good, she deserves to be complimented, she is beautiful.) They mentioned my good use of shadow, but did not know what parts were shadowed or why it was good. It wasn’t like they didn’t like it or they did – they were just dead in the eyes, not involved, not wanting to be there. I took down my photographs with no helpful hints except more variation, which was also a positive reaction to my work.

I did a full circle.

Although no one had anything to say about mine, I was still eager to see other people’s work and learn from their experience.

The pieces to follow were in color, some were moved subjects, some were edited on Photoshop to boost the contrast. None of them followed the instructions like we were asked.

I felt bad as my teacher causally said “did I not say to put them in black and white” or “it’s the first time so I can see why you would make that mistake.”

When confronted about their pieces mistakes, lies fled like rivers. “Is this natural lighting?” “Yeah, it’s outside. I did use a reflector, but that’s it.” I do not know much about using my camera to it’s full possibility yet, but I know that you cannot get flawless skin and backdrops with perfect white/black contrast in natural light in the middle of Union Square with a plastic reflector.

Tim knew this too, but he didn’t say a thing. How could he?

His class had played him.

They took his assignment, his tips, his time, and threw it in the bottom of their though pile.

I would hate to have been him, because I hated being in the class.

I know this is my chance to shine. Be the one who does it right, blah blah blah. That doesn’t matter if no one else can put any effort in.

I cannot imagine thinking how the students in my classes act. If you do not want this, then please do not waste my time. If you are unprepared, do not show up. Your money is getting deposited weather you are there warming a seat or you are home being “busy.” Please, do not come unless your attitude toward the class is positive and you want to be there. The school could care less if you showed up. We are no longer in high school. We pay to be here. We go to colleges and university not because we have to, but because we want to. If you do not want to put a little effort in, get out. It’s week three and you have already proven you do not have the motivation to succeed in this program. Stop wasting your parents money, stop wasting your professors energy, stop wasting my time.

Grow up or get out.


Wow.
I feel better.
Goodnight. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

history with an accent

I have never taken a history class without an accented professor. In 8th grade, Mrs. Nagata may have been Asian American, but she had a little chinese accent. Chaira was Italian. And now, I am learning photographic history from a French woman. She is simply adorable in her attempts to pronounce our American names, yet the French photographers and terms slide off her tongue like poetry. I usually do not really like history - i have a hard time remember dates and names, but after one three hour class with this woman, I think I might actually understand what I am learning and retain the information for more than a few hours. She is catering, slow, descriptive, and uses many ways to get you engaged. I even get to do a report on my favorite photographer Diane Arbus, because she noticed I wrote that on my "about me sheet" and made sure I was placed in the right group so I could do it. Special case. She did not do this for anyone else.

Now, I just need to get organized.

Goodnight/Goodmoring lovelies.

P.S. I got a Tumblr, my roommates are obsessed. Check out my page of random photographs and quotes and other tumbling things at http://verbaledudette.tumblr.com/


Thursday, September 13, 2012

chilled and heart ached


Tonight San Fran is chilly and windy. Outside I can hear the chanting of what sounds like entire football team. I guess I should not call it chanting, for the sounds they are making are not words but fall more along the lines of animal noises. It is the weekend for me and my roommates now, so the room has a studious feel as we all work on the homework we let stack up over the passed week.

I met my film teacher today. For those of you who do not remember, he was missing in action last week because he was being a critic for the Toronto Film Festival. I absolutely love him. Jesse is his name and he is incredibly passionate about all films and what they have to give. You can see it in the way that he talks. He knows what he is saying. He is engaging as he walks through the large auditorium, attempting to make eye contact with each student. His presence makes you feel immediately involved and interested.  I think this class is going to be a lot of work, but I am really going to enjoy it. Really really enjoy it. Kayleigh (my roommate) just transferred into the class, so it was fun to have her with me. I made a new friend also. His name is Ed and he drives a motorcycle. He seems nice.

Dinner tonight was yummy, but also a little upsetting. It was crowded in the little café; most of the larger tables were taken. We (my roommates and I) sat in the back. The table next behind us was a four top. A lone boy sat there eating his dinner. He arrived about ten minutes after we got there. He was in the middle of eating a not even half empty plate of food when these two girls and their boyfriends approached the table. The one girl asked him to move so that her and her friends could all sit together. He collected his stuff and just left, throwing away all the food on his plate. I may be being overdramatic, but it kind of upset me that these people thought they had the right to make someone move just so they could all sit together. It upset me that he just walked out. How was he feeling or thinking about? I feel bad that I didn’t say something, invite him to our table, pull a chair over, but part of me was in astonishment and didn’t want to make a big deal and embarrass him even more. I had to tell that to you. It bothered me. I don’t know.

Hope you have a wonderful Thursday night. Happy Birthday to my dancing twin Audrey! xoxo

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

that awkward moment when your new friend turns out to be your teacher

I was walking to my first day of Fundamentals of Photography today. It is just around the corner and up the hill. According to Google maps it only takes three minutes, but I can do it in two. The XX's new album Coexist played through my gold (ballin') ear buds. I was feeling fly. I was feeling good. The air was cold and I was in a sweater. The wind was blowing and my hair was blowing in it. I did not stab myself with a make up brush earlier. I just knew it was going to be a good day.

Walking down the the hill coming from the other direction was this averagely cute looking boy dressed in kind of skinny slacks and a great plaid shirt. My first instinct was "he looks like someone I should get to know." He turned into the building I was heading to. I followed in shortly after to find him standing in the lobby checking the list to see what room the classes were in. I started to look for mine. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Boy: "What class are you looking for?"
Girl: "Fundamentals of Photography"
Boy: "Me too!. Ph100?"
Girl: "Yeah, I think it is in room 200."
Boy: "Sweet, Yeah, that looks like mine too. Well I will see you there!" (Big smile.)
Girl: "Sounds good" (Cute smile.. cause that is what I do."

I headed up to class and sat at a table in the second row with an empty seat next to me to ensure that not only did my new friend see me, but would have the opportunity to sit next to me where we would continue to converse in small talk and eventually become friends that hung out and go to movies and drink coffee and listen to hipster music while we talk about how much we love photography. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I just wanted a friend that didn't come with boobs and drama.

A few minutes later my friend showed up.

Instead of putting his bag on my table, he placed in on the desk in front of the room. You know, the desk meant for the professor. The words that came out of his mouth in the next second confirmed that this boy was actually a man. "

Hey, looks like everyone is here. Welcome to PH 100. My name is Tim."

This is Tim (and who I think might be his wife.) I
 apologize for the poor quality of images. Stalking does have  it's down sides. 


And that man was actually my teacher.

God. Don't you love Google. 
I probably let out the biggest smile possible.

 Of course my new friend would not be my friend but would be my fundamentally-knowledgeable-married-taco-eating-costa-rico-traveling-photography-teacher.

It was like that movie moment where the girl is sitting in class and the teacher comes in and she knows him from a past life moment and it is either incredibly awkward or really funny. Except it was not like that at all, but kind of. You get the point.

Anyways, other than befriending my teacher, I think I am really going to like this class. We actually get to print out our work and show it off. I feel like it is a really positive class and everyone is excited to  be there. It is all girls, except for one boy who wants to do mens fashion photography. (I think he has many best friends.. inside joke. Only few will laugh, sorry the rest of you are left out.)

All i can say is History of Photography - you better kill it hard tomorrow because the passed two days have kicked some serious ass in classes and teachers.



Thursday, September 6, 2012

cloud nine

I have reached it. I have reached the point where I officially know that I have made the right choice in moving out here and pursuing my passion at this school.

I had my first class today in a large white building that I am guessing used to be a church (or a Roman Palace.. because you know hipster city San Fran had Romans before it was cool.) The sound of the professor's aids voices carried through the high chandelier lit ceilings with echos. The class was History of Film: Post World War Two and I can already tell I am going to enjoy it. After already being in three classes similar to this in my past studies, I know that it will captivate my attention and yet still be a challenege. I know I will walk away from it knowing more than i go in with, and to me, that is always important. We watched the beginning of a film and talked about why we love movies and a few of our favorites. I tried to make friends with three different people sitting around me and ALL of them moved to a different row during the break. I know it was not because I spelled funny (i spell like Victoria Secret,  who doesn't like that?) and It wasn't because I said something wrong (i held my tongue on my usual sarcastic remarks) but yet I was alone at the end. Hmph. These film majors are going to be a lot harder to crack than I thought.

After class I was still excited about the days to come, even though I was still friendless. I went to dinner by myself, waiting in a long line to get into the cafe. Once I got there, it was pretty crowded, with only a few extra seats avaiable. The lady at the front desk (who scans my card) asked if "it was okay if I sat with someone I did not know or would i like to wait for an empty table." I practically screamed "force me to sit with random people and maybe I will get friends!" And guess what, it worked. I sat down with two guys and a girl. Pretty soon their other friend showed up. They included me in every conversation possible  (except for the video game one... i had no clue what they were talking about.) They are pretty nerdy, but also pretty normal and were a lot of fun to be around. They even asked for my number at the end! I am proud to say that Robert, Nick, Kyle, and Cali are my new friends!

Tonight was supposed to be some "Fashion Night Out" thing at H&M, but it was kind of a dud. So here I am, relaxing in my hip dorm room, practically high on life.

I have no classes until monday, so the weekend starts tomorrow. Phoebe and I have planned a lunch date which will turn into shopping because we both have want little slippers to wear around the dorm and just because shopping (even if it's just looking) is fun. : )

I hope you had as wonderful of a day as I did. Good night and pleasant dreams.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I came here to do art, not make friends.. right?

I feel like a little kid on the eve of her first day of real big kid school. My mind is racing in thousand directions. I have read the first line Lolita twenty eight times, and have not made it to the second because my brain will not focus. I have the same song repeating in my ear phones and I don't know the name or artist or where I even got it from. My face is heated, but the air in my room is stuffy and cold. 

Tonight I went to the soccer game with three girls from New Zealand: Phoebe (my roommate,) Emme (the girl across the hall) and Kristy (friends of the two listed above.) After riding a large, spacious, AAU bus for twenty or so minutes we arrived at a foggy little field. Only one side of the stadium was crowed - that was our side. We set ourselves in the masses after receiving a free AAU Urban Knights tee shirt. The student body is interesting, or as my grandmother would say "different." So many odd looks, so many unusual beauties, so many languages. There is no one here that I look like I should connect with. You know what I mean? You have a look and others look kind of just like you, someone who looks like your friends at home. No one looks like that here to me. This is both scary and refreshing. The feeling crosses over me as I sit quietly, ease dropping of my "eh" sayers, that I will not find friends, that I will be a loner, that I will graduate as a non popular human being. Then I figuratively slapped my self in the face and gave myself a pep talk about getting out there and making friends with the most odd balls in this school and who cares is I am a loner. I came here to do art, not make friends. This is not a girl scout camp. And all of this is crossing my mind as I see our cute soccer team remove their layers and prepare of the game. We (me and the Kiwi's) only stayed for twenty minutes because they got cold. But in those twenty minutes our team was ahead. By one point. But it was a glorious one point. 

We took the bus ride home, which seemed much longer due to my growling stomach who needed to be fed.  After checking at one cafe, which was closed, we decided to trek up to another about two hills up from the current location. We arrived twenty minutes before closing, just in time for a delicious dinner. Mom, you would be proud I ate all my broccoli and salad. I didn't even spill on myself! 

Now I am home, winding down (haha.. read the first paragraph to know how big of a lie that is.) 

That is all I really have to say. I know it was not really an exciting post, but I just needed to talk to someone. Have a goodnight. xo

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Nothing like a toned graphic designer if you ask me.

My room would not look nearly as beautiful if I did not have the help of my Mother, Father, and Sister. Thank you so much.


This is a doorway view of my desk, in the corner. It is an easel desk, adjustable for any angle. I also have a work lamp that is all artsy and cool. 


This is my close up light from China Town. So beautiful. 


My magnetic hanging picture strings. 


My already crowded wire basket holder of everything school and non school related. 


My bed is the bottom bunk. 


And most importantly, this is my window outside of my desk. Here is where I can see the streets below, the Metropolitan Women's Club straight across the street, and my fire escape. 


I am not allowed to go out there, but i love the idea of having one. Isn't it beautiful?

And that is my part of the dorm! 

Today was orientation. This being my third freshman orientation in the passed year, I will have to say that it was the best. Seriously very inspiring and I feel excited to start classes. Also incredibly nervous because every single one of the people who held a mic today said it would be hard and by the eighth week everyone starts to crumble. But do you know what I say to that? GAME ON. Let's do this. 

I had dinner with my lovely friend Leeza tonight and it was fun to connect with her now that we are living in the same city. 

The whole bonding with the roommates is still rocky. It is hard being the girl who came into the group a week late. Oh well. 

Tomorrow is my last day of "freedom." There is a kick off soccer game to start the season tomorrow night, which I plan to attend. I have already seen the entire soccer team and I can tell you right now that soccer is my new favorite sport. Oh goodness those are some good looking men. Mmmhmmm. And they are  artists! WIN WIN. "Be artist. Be athlete." - I am starting to like this saying more and more each day. Nothing like a toned graphic designer if you ask me. 

Anyways, I hope you have a great night. xoxo 



Im here! Im here! Im really here!


Well here it is, the first post from my dorm room in San Francisco. Never thought this day would come? Neither did I. I do not really have much to say, because well, it has not really sunk in that I am living in one of the most beautiful and artistic cities possible. I will give you the brief low down.

I have a room on the fifth floor of an all girls apartment. A large, white, spacious, piece of a room it is. I share with three other girls: Phoebe, Savannah, and Kayleigh. Phoebe is here from New Zealand, studying graphic design, Savannah is a fashionista (and fashion studier) from Santa Cruz, and Kayleigh is originally located just out side of the city and will be joining me in the study of photography. So far, they all seem very nice – but hey, it is only the first night. ;)

I slowly have put my stuff together and decorated the walls. I even have a light up star, bought by my beautiful Mother in China Town, above my personal desk. Photographs to come, I promise.

I just wanted to give a quick shot out so you know I am alive and not swallowed by the big city life. So excited to start this adventure. Missing my salty street friends and family. Much love (mostly to my Mama, Father, and Sissy!)

Sweet dreams! Xoxo 

Monday, August 27, 2012

Carpe Diem.


This is one of those coming to age posts. I know that most of you will leave at this point because you were hoping for more naked men - I understand and respect that.

Lives are like novels. As cliché as it may sound, we spend each day writing a chapter. In each chapter we introduce new characters, dive deeper into others, take adventures, or just keep traveling on the same path. In Mrs. Funston’s freshman English class, I learned that the climax of a story is when something happens in the plot that changes it so dramatically that you know nothing will be the same after. In other words, everything will be different.

 In life stories, I don’t think the climax is one certain event. It may be in yours, but not in mine. In my life, my climax is a series of events. I think the climax of my life, so far, was this last year. I learned so much about myself, I grew up, I took chances, I felt risks, and I accepted consequences – good and bad.



Before I moved to Italy I had never been on my own. I had not been to camp and I rarely had sleep overs, always making up excuses on why I could only have a late over or calling my mom in the middle of the night to pick me up. I had gone on the skateboarding tour for months away from home, but I always had (at least) my Father present. I graduated from high school and leaped into a surreal experience. I went from always holding my family’s hands, to flying my way to a foreign country where I did not know anyone, the language, where to go, or what to expect. I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I was scarred, but never did I ever regret doing it. Italy changed my life. Of course the culture and aspects of a foreign country were striking and eye opening, but suddenly I was forced to make decisions between good or bad, motivate myself to succeed at school, fix my own meals, and wash my own clothes. It sounds silly, but I was forced to grow up. Forced to experience. Forced to find out who I really was. In Italy I realized what mattered, what made me who I was, what I wanted to be, and how lucky I am.
 
This summer I discovered a lot about myself. I took my mindset from Italy and become conscious of where I stood. I had my first real job - and Market Street will never be the same. I made new friends and created stronger friendships with the old. I also lost a few. I gained confidence as I stood up for myself. In my favorite book The Perks for Being a Wallflower, Charlie says, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” I finally learned what that meant, that I deserve the world and not to let people pull me down or make me think otherwise. I realized who made me feel good about myself, who I could be myself around, who I could trust - and who didn’t/couldn’t.

In Love is a Mixtape, Rob Sheffield wrote “She worried way too much what people thought of her, wore her heart on her sleeve, expected too much from people, and got hurt too easily. She kept other people's secrets like a champ, but told her own too fast. She expected the world not to cheat her and was always surprised when it did.” It was on page thirty-one that it dawned on me that this is exactly who I was.

Now look at me.


(please note that the stress from packing did not result in alcoholism.) 

 Ha. But really. Tomorrow I leave to San Francisco to study at the Academy of Art University.

When you are little you talk about what you want to do when you grow up. You draw pictures of your dream room in notebooks, you plan your prom dress, go from wanting to be a princess, to Hannah Montana, to a teacher. Then one day, you realize that you REALLY can become anything you want. I cannot tell you the exact day I figured out that I could be a photographer as a career, but I can tell you that once the seed was planted in my head I could not stop feeding it nourishment. I kept telling myself the negatives: the lack of pay, the uncertainty, what will people think of you choosing art as a job? Will they think you took the easy way out? All of those are still in the soil of my ambition, but they are pushing me harder. Prove them wrong. Be happy every time you go to work. Put your best out there. Make someone notice. That small seed that once sat in the back of my mind is now a tangled vine, large and ever growing. Consuming.

Some gardens grow forever without being taken care of. I sit here saying that I am so fortunate to have the full support of my family to chase this crazy dream of mine. I hear the stories from people who graduated from high school with me about how they went to college because that is just what is expected of them, status quo, what else would they do? My parents sat me down when I graduated and told me to enjoy it. They believe that education is important, but take my time. If I don’t go to school right away, that is fine, but make sure that whatever I am doing, I am doing with my whole heart and taking advantage of every day. How many people can say that their parents want them to be nothing but happy? My Mother comes from a family where the in state University was the only choice and if she wanted to go, she was going to pay for it. My Father moved across the country because he wanted to ski and Utah had better slopes then Michigan. Two completely different outlooks, backgrounds, and stories – but they both agree on doing whatever they can to make sure my life is perfect. I could not be anymore grateful for what they have done. My parents have (and constantly continue) to support me finically, emotionally, and confidently. Here is a shout out, because I could never thank them enough for everything they do for me. I want to be them when I grow up. 

Thank you for the constant support, love, friendship, and help from my family and friends. You are the true reason that I have the opportunities I do in life.

San Francisco: I hope you are ready.

Here is to this crazy thing called life and how addictive it is to live it with arms wide open, Carpe Diem.