time is such a hungry beast

title: "waltz for pony" by boy

I write to you frustrated with the current situation my fellow students have present in a college setting. This last week we received an assignment in my Fundamentals of Photography class.

The assignment was simple: photograph a subject (that cannot move or be moved) in different ways, do not edit, change all to black and white, print a contact sheet with twenty of your best images, print one of those images, bring to next class to critique. There were no hidden rules, confusion in the details, or misleading statements. It was crystal clear. Elementary my dear. It was even printed word for word in full paragraphs on a hand out and in our syllabus received on the first day. No surprises.

Today in class, I was one out of five people in a classroom of twenty who did the assignment.

Out of those five people, I was the only one who followed the directions.

I sat there astonished as the excuses poured out of mouths around me.

“I did not understand it”

“I was busy.”

“I could not get my hands on the paper.”

Silently I answered them all in my head.

What did you not understand? If you were confused, you could have either called one of the numbers of the students in the class we exchanged on the first day, or you could have emailed our professor who stressed the importance of not being afraid to use his email and ask questions.

What exactly were you busy with for a whole week that you could not find the time to shoot at least twenty photographs of any object of your choice? I find this hard to believe because as beginners we are all in the same classes. I have the same workload as you. I had time to spare, even after doing homework for our other three classes, and spend a whole day walking from one bridge to the other. Did I mention I also had time to go to the movies?

I will agree, finding the paper was hard, but with an entire week, a cell phone, and Google, you could have found the paper is six different locations just on Main Street alone. If that wasn’t possible or maybe right now you cannot afford it, you could have dug up that contact sheet previously mentioned and asked a classmate where they got their paper or if you could borrow a few sheets. I know I would have said yes. Maybe you were too busy, that’s what happened wasn’t it?

Seriously, ladies?

We are in college. Not only are we in college, we are all adults. Legal adults. Adults who can take care of themselves, who know we have to pull our own weight, adults who can solve a problem when it comes up, an adult who knows what is expected of them and does what is expected.

Every time you show up to class unprepared you are not only throwing more than two hundred dollars out into the crisp wind, but you are wasting your time. Have you ever thought about how your lack of preparation affects my learning? Have you ever thought about how it makes Tim, your educator, feel that you do not take his class seriously or have the respect to follow through on little things he asks? Do you realize these projects and lectures and classes and textbook readings are not punishment or busy work, but actually have meaning that will help you in what is supposed to be your career choice?

I actually feel bad for you.

After brushing fifteen unprepared students to the side, I focused my attention on those who were prepared. They did the assignment; they deserved feedback, respect – just like I expected to receive in return. Critiques are the best way to learn and to grow. I learn from you, you learn from me. That is why I go to onsite classes and do not just sit home online in my pajamas and a bucket of ice cream.

The first to present set up her work. Her prints were in color. Her subject placed in different places around the yard. Her subject was in different positions. The only part that followed the instructions was that she printed out her work. The class responded to the colors of her work in excitement. They were drawn to it. As my teacher said “let’s pretend that it is in black and white and focus on the image and what she could do better” the next comment to follow was “I really like the colors of the garden and how it brings out her subject.” Did you really not just hear the words that came out of his mouth? He is done with the color. He wants to know about composition, about lighting, about anything other than the color that is not supposed to be there in the first place.

Let’s just say, we never got off the color wheel.

I presented mine next. I was eager to hear feedback. I wanted to know what I could do better, what did they notice that I didn’t, how did they feel, what parts they didn’t like. I put my simple contact sheet up next to my one black and white photo. The response was neither good nor bad. Nor was it helpful. No one said anything without exaggerated prompting from my professor. They commented on my model (good, she deserves to be complimented, she is beautiful.) They mentioned my good use of shadow, but did not know what parts were shadowed or why it was good. It wasn’t like they didn’t like it or they did – they were just dead in the eyes, not involved, not wanting to be there. I took down my photographs with no helpful hints except more variation, which was also a positive reaction to my work.

I did a full circle.

Although no one had anything to say about mine, I was still eager to see other people’s work and learn from their experience.

The pieces to follow were in color, some were moved subjects, some were edited on Photoshop to boost the contrast. None of them followed the instructions like we were asked.

I felt bad as my teacher causally said “did I not say to put them in black and white” or “it’s the first time so I can see why you would make that mistake.”

When confronted about their pieces mistakes, lies fled like rivers. “Is this natural lighting?” “Yeah, it’s outside. I did use a reflector, but that’s it.” I do not know much about using my camera to it’s full possibility yet, but I know that you cannot get flawless skin and backdrops with perfect white/black contrast in natural light in the middle of Union Square with a plastic reflector.

Tim knew this too, but he didn’t say a thing. How could he?

His class had played him.

They took his assignment, his tips, his time, and threw it in the bottom of their though pile.

I would hate to have been him, because I hated being in the class.

I know this is my chance to shine. Be the one who does it right, blah blah blah. That doesn’t matter if no one else can put any effort in.

I cannot imagine thinking how the students in my classes act. If you do not want this, then please do not waste my time. If you are unprepared, do not show up. Your money is getting deposited weather you are there warming a seat or you are home being “busy.” Please, do not come unless your attitude toward the class is positive and you want to be there. The school could care less if you showed up. We are no longer in high school. We pay to be here. We go to colleges and university not because we have to, but because we want to. If you do not want to put a little effort in, get out. It’s week three and you have already proven you do not have the motivation to succeed in this program. Stop wasting your parents money, stop wasting your professors energy, stop wasting my time.

Grow up or get out.

Wow.

I feel better.

Goodnight. 

screw the idea of waiting for magic, everyday is magic.

I have been waiting for a sign, an inspiration, a moment of pure overflow of word vomit to appear in my lap. I was waiting for something to fall from the sky or for someone to yell a story from across a room. I was waiting for magic, but I came to realize that magic is in the every day simplicities. I realized that every single day something happens that is important at creating my life story. I had lots to say while I was in Italy because I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to live and thrive in a foreign country, but I am also very lucky to wake up each day in Salt Lake City, Utah with a wonderful family, good friends, and a place to call home. So screw the idea of waiting for magic, everyday is magic. And what you just witnessed was me having a moment of clarity, a moment of thankfulness, and a realization that every day needs to be lived like it’s my last.

You finish reading that and now the sigh of relief floods out of your mouth because Audrey’s sentimental, tender time is over. Now it’s on to the things Internet junkies love to hear. For example I recently (like yesterday) purchased an iPhone. It is incredibly addicting and I personally apologize to anyone I ever publically made fun of for being so obsessed with an electronic. This device can do everything, like Instagram and Foresquare while Tweeting about it and posting everything on my (and your) Facebook timeline, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I feel like I am part of club now, the iPhone Club. We should get jackets.

Well, I just checked my iPhone and it said that it was past my bedtime. Here’s to better posts in the future and to being thankful for everything we are presented with. xoxo

the rain in spain stays mainly in the plain

Clouds, grey and dark, hovered around the city like a child’s ‘blanket and chair’ fortress. Firenze, bustling with eager shoppers and umbrellas, hid beneath the quilted sky as drops of warm rain sprinkled the streets and it occupants. Wet air held heat in its breezes, whipping around corners and up the side of Brunelleschi’s Duomo. The thick scent of Sunday four-course dinner leaked out of neighboring windows and spiraled with the smokes of top floor chimneys. I wandered the streets for two hours; umbrella in hand, stepping in each puddle my shoes came to the edge of. Admiring the city, once more, as it’s frail beauty was washed with nature’s shower. When I came home, the apartment held a dark silence. The kitchen window showed no change in the sky as the hidden sun set.

To finish a perfect rainy afternoon, I sat down (with Rachel) in the living room for a little movie marathon. First to be watched was Pineapple Express. Following the runaway few days of a drug dealer and an innocent weed smoking murder witnesser, I enjoyed each scene. James Franco captures my heart no matter how greasy his hair is and how often he says dude. The second film was Pulp Fiction.  A hipster favorite, that I have previously seen, but did not remember anything. (The reason was my not remembering is going to be blamed on the fact that I was in bed, on a liquid diet, because I had just escaped nose surgery.) This time, I loved it. With an amazing cast and sound track, Quinton Tarantino presents such witty, sexy, funny, action, thrilled, fun, into one film. My only complaint: John Travolta’s hair. (For reasons that do not need explaining.)

Tonight I had pasta for dinner and then Joanna made me dessert. The dessert was coop cookies and peanut butter.  “How to make tagalongs when you can’t find a girlscout” –Joanna talking about the snack. What a wonderful day!

Today’s gift is for the geeks. For the Star Wars know all and the Darth Vader quotaters.

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you like the lies of Luke’s father. Those are in fact Hans Solo in Carbonate Ice Cube Trays. “The Empire will compensate you if he melts” now has a new meaning. The empire, being a glass, will be officially colder when this fantasy hero thaws. Also, you can even use they to make chocolate too! What a perfect gift to buy that dorky friend you love!

Where to find: http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/e845/#tabs

Price: $9.99

Goodnight! xoxo

Title: My Fair Lady 

Verbaledudette's Gift Guide

Happy December first! Like my sister, you are probably stressing about what to get everyone for Christmas. Eagerly counting down those days and crossing off those lists, browsing through endless magazines and falling in trampling lines early in the morning. I get it. Christmas gift shopping is difficult. That is why I am here to lend you a bit of a helping hand. Consider me one of Santa’s little helpers; Audrey the Elf (minus the pointy ears.)  Starting today I am going to show case a couple of items for the next twenty days (because, lets face it, if you don’t have all your gifts by the twentieth, you’re on your own. Also, I come home that day.) that you could get to spread holiday smiles on all the faces you know. Prices are going to range, stuff for him, and stuff for her. It is going to be spectacular.

1. The Bubble Wrap Calendar

Every year, people have to buy a calendar around Christmas time, for the obvious reason that after Christmas, the year changes. Are you sick and tired of going to your friends/families house and having to write your birth date down on a calendar covered in kittens, The Jonas Brothers, and sandy beaches? How about those tacky ones that don’t even have adorable pictures on them and are indeed very boring? This gift solves your problem and is fun for both adults and children! It is a three in one gift bargain!

Who doesn’t like bubble wrap. Admit it. We have all found the temptation to squeeze those little air locked pimples, or danced all around their odd texture even when our mothers said not to. The calendar even comes with all the U.S. holidays labeled in the little date bubbles. Its measurements are forty-eight inches tall by eighteen inches wide. It is printed on heavy one hundred pound glossy covered stock (whatever that means) and is handmade in Brooklyn. Practical and supports our locals. It’s simple lay out and vertical design is nothing but classy and chic. This will put your gift receiver on top of a little pedestal over all their horizontal calendar owner friends. They will be the envy of all calendars, and it will all be because of you. Everyone likes bubble wrap. Everyone needs a calendar. Get everyone, a Bubble Wrap Calendar.

Where to find it: http://www.perpetualkid.com/2010-bubble-calendar.aspx

Price: $19.99

Today I woke up and outside my window the sky looked clouded and grey. With this feeling, I had deep hopes that maybe we would be getting one of those famous Florence thunderstorms that was supposed to wash the city every day in November. I had hoped that December first might bring something different. But a couple hours later, the sky is blue and the clouds are blushed with rising sun pinks. So much for my rainy day. There is nothing like working in the studio at school while droplets scatter and shake the glass ceiling above. The noise echoes and is magical. Is it so much to ask that while I develop photographs today that it rains? Come on Florence, open those skies and let it loose!

Rachel’s friend Eddy just got here. I have yet to meet him because he hid in the other room and then they just left. Which was kind of odd, but then again, I wouldn’t want to meet me either while I am in the middle of blogging, in my pajamas, sitting in my warm bed, under a neon yellow comforter, while my stomach growls for breakfast. It’s not really my most presentable sight.

Well, I am off to start my day. I only have film photography today and I cannot wait to print! My final project is coming along so nicely. Every combination is a sweet surprise. It is a challenge, but it is worth it.

Ciao. Ciao.

xoxo

life’s too short to even care at all.

 Hello from my bed. It may be only 7:00 but I already have my fuzzy socks on and am positioned under the covers. The lights are even off. No, I am not ready for bed; it is just kind of really chilly in this apartment, and I didn’t want to sit in those uncomfortable squeaky chairs in the kitchen. Italians obviously do not believe in decent warming devices in their apartments (probably because they do have a lot more hair on their bodies than other countries… but STILL. I am a hairless American who needs to be warm!) Okay, I am over exaggerating a little bit. Truth is, my bed is comfortable and I like the way the comforter practically glows in the dark because it is so neon yellow.

I apologize for such an awful introduction paragraph. Lets try this again.

Young the Giant’s most recent album is playing through my headphones right now as my feet are cuddling underneath my neon yellow comforter. The only light coming into the room is from the sliding propped open door. This square shadow of light (play on words, eh?) is enough light to frame Rachel’s bed in a halo like fashion. I am wearing my “your blog sucks” tee shirt and feeling really good about life.

Now, wasn’t that better?

Italy was beautiful today. This morning, I woke up with a burst of energy that needed to be set free. I harvested this emotion by going out on an hour long stroll, wandering through streets, kicking leaves up in the small park to the left, and watching old men row boats down the Arno river. It was truly refreshing.

I simply love this city. Walking home from school after class today, I really tried to soak in everything I passed. I have become so accustom to the route from casa mia (my house) to the school, that I sometimes take for granted how magical Firenze is. For example, as I was walking I breathed in deeply (with my new nose!!) the smells of home cooking, cigars, and that certain Italian city smell (no, not the pee and beer smell thank you, there is another one that I cannot put a name to.) I was walking down the little side street and I noticed the steam coming out of what looked like an air vent for one of the walled apartments. The way it swirled up and dispensed into the cold air as thick white petals was entrancing. I still smile at the lines of clothes that hang out of windows, even though it is a common sight in my days here. Now that I have lived her for so long, I can look passed the tourist monuments and really fall in love with the sweet subtitles.

I have begun to develop the feeling that every city is like this. Salt Lake City is just as beautiful as here, but I do not take the time to notice its details because I realize that I have taken it for granted. You never know what you have until it’s gone right?

Italian language is one of my least favorite classes because I hate being put on the spot and failing miserably when I am. BUT on the plus side, I love the challenge of trying to learn this new, beautiful, language. I want to learn! Oh goodness, my life is so hard. Just kidding. : ) Italian class was alright today. My fingertips were really cold. I have mentioned my pronunciation/spelling problem before, well now in class it is kind of a joke. For example, we were changing verbs from present to past tense, and Joanna chose my word to be the hardest one in the whole wide world (not really) to pronounce just because we all know how I st st stutter. I cannot remember it now and cant look it up in my notes cause I left my notebook at school, but know that it was hilariously hard (for me.) Oh well. Italian class is one of those classes that you dread going to, but once you are there you are fine, and everyone leaves laughing. Nicola may be an awful teacher, but he quite the character. 

This has nothing to do with anything, but it made me laugh. I thought you would need a little giggle on your Monday. 

Thanksgiving is obviously not celebrated here (if you do not know why… you have some serious problems that you need to figure out before reading any further. Google it.) Despite the country we are living in, Joanna, Rachel and I have decided to make a feast. We made a list of items we like to eat and divided them up between the three of us. I am in charge of a fruit and mashed potatoes. I am thinking maybe doing my family’s favorite apples in orange juice mixture and maybe some pomegranates.

Grandma, when Michael reads this to you, please know that I will not do your mashed potatoes justice and I am sending up my white flag. There is no competition; you have already won. Hopefully I will come in at least a close fifth place on the “good mashed potatoes” list. It cannot be very hard right? I mean I do not have a blender or anything... Is it unsanitary to use a rock? (I am only joking Rachel & Joanna; you honestly do not need to worry about if there are going to be dirt and other earthy materials in your buttery potatoes.) 

All I can say is thank goodness I am not in charge of the turkey.

Music Monday Update: Check out the song “Hotel Song” by Regina Spektor. It is a current love of mine.

I finished Like Water for Chocolate. Please read it. I had chills of wonderful emotion through out the entire thing. It is an easy, magical, read. (Please note that the picture to the right is not the real cover of the book, but an illustration someone did. I found it on google and liked it. That is all. ) 

Also, in the news of the social networking, I think you will find great pleasure in the new follower my twitter account has gained. “Titsoffire” has indeed started to follow my unwitty, too quotey, status update, tweet feed. I feel honored, really. Not many people can say that someone with such a great name is one of their 92 followers. 

My final statement deals with a lot of exclamation marks. Prepare yourself:

MY BEASTIE BECCA IS COMING TO VISIT ME OFFICIALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for reading! Ciao. Xoxo

*title: “Cough Syrup” by Young the Giant

my screen looks like someone pressed the "fade color" button in iphoto

or maybe it is just my eyes. i can not tell. i havent washed my make up off and i probably wont because i am too lazy to get out of bed right now. I am so tired. I should be sleeping, but i cant fall asleep. I dont know why i keep rambling about my sleeping problems to you- so sorry. I dont really know why i am writing this. I just thought i needed to write. My creative writing teacher told us that even if we dont know what to write to keep writing even if we write "i do not know what to write" a few times because eventually something will come to mind. im kind of really jealous of gabrielle's ability to make best friends with the guys. just saying. i think i might need to actually take off my make up. It is hurting my face. I dont even have that much. Oh and yes. The two of them are actually dating. No he isnt dating me. Thanks for wondering silently though.  Goodnight. 

actual sign. no i didnt see it. i stole it from a website. yes stole. dont call the cops. its not worth it tonight.

I just had to get this off my chest.

You know what’s pretty annoying? 

People who can’t take their sunglasses off indoors. It’s just like when people let their cracks slip out of their pants–you know that there’s an awareness of it –and they just don’t care. 

But really, the whole sunglasses indoors thing, I think being too lazy to take off your sunglasses when you walk indoors could make you lazier than someone who can’t drink a beverage without a straw. 

Whatever the reason is for people’s not taking sunglasses off when indoors (after noticing that it’s no longer bright enough to warrant sunglasses), it’s idiotic. 

Oh, yeah, and somehow gold teeth are popular too? 

I mean they were all over the Twilight concert on Thursday. I’m not feeling the gold tooth action.

 Were you aware that gold is one of the best metals for conducting temperature? That’s not a good thing when it comes to your teeth. Temperature being conducted in your teeth means more pain. Why put your mouth through that? 

You could be electrocuted by lightning. 

 Goodnight.