I came here to do art, not make friends.. right?

I feel like a little kid on the eve of her first day of real big kid school. My mind is racing in thousand directions. I have read the first line Lolita twenty eight times, and have not made it to the second because my brain will not focus. I have the same song repeating in my ear phones and I don't know the name or artist or where I even got it from. My face is heated, but the air in my room is stuffy and cold. 

Tonight I went to the soccer game with three girls from New Zealand: Phoebe (my roommate,) Emme (the girl across the hall) and Kristy (friends of the two listed above.) After riding a large, spacious, AAU bus for twenty or so minutes we arrived at a foggy little field. Only one side of the stadium was crowed - that was our side. We set ourselves in the masses after receiving a free AAU Urban Knights tee shirt. The student body is interesting, or as my grandmother would say "different." So many odd looks, so many unusual beauties, so many languages. There is no one here that I look like I should connect with. You know what I mean? You have a look and others look kind of just like you, someone who looks like your friends at home. No one looks like that here to me. This is both scary and refreshing. The feeling crosses over me as I sit quietly, ease dropping of my "eh" sayers, that I will not find friends, that I will be a loner, that I will graduate as a non popular human being. Then I figuratively slapped my self in the face and gave myself a pep talk about getting out there and making friends with the most odd balls in this school and who cares is I am a loner. I came here to do art, not make friends. This is not a girl scout camp. And all of this is crossing my mind as I see our cute soccer team remove their layers and prepare of the game. We (me and the Kiwi's) only stayed for twenty minutes because they got cold. But in those twenty minutes our team was ahead. By one point. But it was a glorious one point. 

We took the bus ride home, which seemed much longer due to my growling stomach who needed to be fed.  After checking at one cafe, which was closed, we decided to trek up to another about two hills up from the current location. We arrived twenty minutes before closing, just in time for a delicious dinner. Mom, you would be proud I ate all my broccoli and salad. I didn't even spill on myself! 

Now I am home, winding down (haha.. read the first paragraph to know how big of a lie that is.) 

That is all I really have to say. I know it was not really an exciting post, but I just needed to talk to someone. Have a goodnight. xo