In
February 2011, I was hired by Deer Valley Mountain Resort to be the official
photographer for the World Championships
of Freestyle Skiing. This is next biggest event to the Olympic Games and
this was the break in my career as a photographer. Eagerly I went out and
bought the perfect (and sexiest) pair of plain black cargo ski pants I could
find in the sale section of Skier’s World
down on Main Street. Without trying them on, I took them home and packed them
in my suitcase.
On
the first day of training, out in the middle of the ski course, with knee-highs
made of snow, flakes of powder on my long black eye lashes, and the sun rising
elegantly in the background, I took position to capture my first shot. As I
clicked the shutter release, Anton Kushnirin in the frame nailing a double
full-full off the fourth kicker, the crowd screaming wildly in excitement, all
I heard was “rrrrrriiippppp.” The entire crotch and left leg of my new pants
were ripped open at the seam; the white insulation now visible as the cold air
entered my once warm body. My support team immediately tried to comfort me: “it
is fine,” “you cannot even notice,” “that would of happen to anyone.” But I
knew if I had taken the necessary precautions to choosing my outfit, my
confidence would of still been in gold medal standings and my pants would not
have been torn open like a bear attack upon raw flesh.
Civilized
members of our society strongly believe that a photographer does not have to
worry about their outfit, because it is all about what they create with their
hands and the expensive equipment they pretend to know how to use. Yet, here I
am, taking the time to tell you that anyone can be a photographer, but the one
who is going to be the most successful is the one who can feel confident and
look like they know what they are doing while shooting – no matter what kind of
lens or camera company is in their hand.
To become a professional photographer one’s wardrobe must reflect the
utmost professionalism. You can achieve this by paying attention to color, the
target market, comfort, accessories, and facial expressions.
Before
you can start anything, you need to decide on a color pallet. Although an artist’s brain is spray
painted with sea green blues, splattered with sunshine yellow, kissed with hues
of purples, and melted with baby nose pinks; their wardrobe should be the
complete opposite. I am talking deep charcoal black, highlighted with tones of
grey, and shaded with even more black. Choosing a darker, mild toned, pallet
will keep you sophisticated and classy. Also, it will keep you hidden. As a
photographer you want to blend in, in order to capture a candid moment. You
cannot really get that sneaky shot if you are standing in the middle of a crowd
wearing a neon striped clown suit now can you? See I used to be naive like you,
wandering into the public setting of the Utah State Fair looking like a walking
rainbow. I did not understand why the only photographs I was getting were of old
men scowling, their noses turned higher than a pug’s, and the bearded woman
winking at me. Not really million dollar shots if you ask me.
If
you are having trouble deciding whether black or grey is good for you, I
suggest heading over to your local paint shop. Pick out a few of Martha
Stewart’s paint swabs, go home, and spend as much time as you may need holding
the different pieces of dyed card stock to your face. Place it right under your
left eye and watch your irises glow. Put the corner of the card next to that
awkward cowlick in your hair and see those natural highlights gleam. Patients
are key. When out on a shoot the color pallet of your outfit is important in
order to keep your identity to “fly on the wall” (Cyrus, Miley. Fly on the Wall. Hollywood, 2008. MP3.)
status while still looking your best.
Next,
decide what outfit best matches your target market. Your target market is your
employer. He is the one who will hand you the big bills. Or the one who gives
you free access to the bar once you’re done shooting Grandma on the dance floor
at Uncle Joe’s third marriage reception. The target market is the boss. For example, if you are shooting a
wedding, you will want to dress like you are going to a wedding. In this
situation the boss is most likely the Bride. This is not the event to show up
in your acid wash jeans with the matching black fur coat (Sisters, Scissor. Filthy/Gorgeous. Polydor Records, 2005.
MP3) and thick Seattle punk eyeliner, when the Bride is clearly going for
“cowboy country chic” (Style Me Pretty
Wedding Design. 2011, March.).
Dress simple, yet elegant. Women, put on a little black dress and a small strand
of pearls. Men, tuck in your collared shirt and get out the bow ties. If your
outfit matches your target audience you could walk home with a huge tip in your
back pocket (and maybe even the seven digits of the second groomsmen from the
Italian side of the family.)
Choosing the correct outfit is only half the
battle. Before heading out to show the world your mad camera skills, one must
make sure their outfit is both comfortable, and squat proof. In other words, can you sit, stand,
walk, slide, boot, scoot, and boogie (Brooks & Dunn. Boot, Scootin’ Boogie. Arista Nashville, 1992. MP3.) in it? You may
feel like a fool, but one must test all possibilities of movement in the chosen
outfit before calling it golden. Let’s say you are shooting a concert. Not just
any old concert; you are shooting a punk-pop-rap trio concert. It is located in
some dingy garage with nothing but red and orange twinkling bulbs to light up
the cement room. It is an all ages show, meaning: there will be a lot of
underage drinkers who can’t hold their liquor, guys in cut up “vintage” band
tee’s with eyebrows covered in piercings so much that it almost resemble a
shower curtain rod, and girls with red lipstick on their teeth. You have to
make sure your outfit can handle that, so test it out. Stand in your garage
with the lights off and a flashlight in your hand. Put lipstick on your teeth.
Rip your shirt. Get your little brother to rap to a Lil Wayne song, without
looking at the lyrics, while he bumps into you with a red SOLO cup of PBR. If
you are comfortable after three hours of this, your outfit is ready for the
next step.
Let’s recap: you have your pallet, your outfit,
and your squat/comfort tests all done. Next, it is all about the accessories.
The minute you read accessories,
three fourths of the men rolled their eyes and prepared to skip this paragraph.
I am here to inform you that accessories are not just pearls and rings my
friends. Most importantly it is all about what goes on your head and what
covers your feet. Let’s start with your noggin. You want those long lovely
locks out of your face. As a photographer, you use your eyes quite a lot and
staring into a viewfinder with a piece of natural red bangs down the middle is
not going to support your process. Pin it back. Men, get a hat that does not
affect the camera to forehead ratio. Or maybe even try a little gel, you know,
“get [slicky] with it” (Smith, Will. Get
Jiggy With It. Sony, 1997. MP3). Women, a dainty headband or some decent
bobby pins should do the trick. Remember, you are trying to work the camera,
not “whip your hair back and forth” (Smith, Willow. Whip My Hair. Columbia/Roc Nation, 2010. MP3.) to get free booze. I
once saw a guy photographing his friend doing a push shove-it onto the bank at
my local skate park. He was flipping his “Justin Bieber bowl cut” (“Justin
Bieber Hair.” Style Bistro. 2010,
December 9. Kepin, Jason) to the left
so much that it made me dial 911. The operator leaped into action after I
stated that there was an emergency and to call an ambulance, because “a boy at
the South Jordan Peace Gardens was having a seizure.” This false accusation did
not end well for either of us. Moral of the story, pin it back or people will
think you have a medical condition.
We
took care of your head, now we need to ponder the serious issue of your shoes.
This relates back to dressing for your market audience and comfort. Choose
shoes that match the part, yet you can stay in them for long periods of time
while waltzing back and forth, and side to side, while getting those delicious
shots. This is also your chance to get a bit wild. Because your basic pallet is
neutral, you can play a bit of color into your outfit through your choice of
shoes. Throw on some red flats, brown Doc Martin boots, or even blue Vans, to
give the lookers a piece of your artistically developed personality. Do not
wear brand-new shoes to a shoot. Breaking them in by standing for six or more
hours will leave you with blisters and sore heels. You do not want to be the
photographer at a Bar Mitzvah who missed the Horah dance while you were sitting
down, because your feet hurt. Whether it is hats or shoes, remember to keep
comfort and work sensibility in mind while adding a bit of pizzazz to your
wardrobe.
The
final step is to keep your face in control. Do not let your emotions slide onto
your baby soft lips. Do not let that eye brown twitch up in confusion. Do not
wrinkle your nose is disgust. And do not wiggle your ears (because seriously,
that is just weird.) Being a photographer means you have the chance to have a
third eye, without looking like a Cyclops. You get to see a lot of hidden
details that the average untrained eye misses. This could be a good thing, such
as checking out the hiding blue butterfly tattoo on the hip of that new babe
working the bar, but also a terrifyingly disturbing thing as you witness the
ultimate flaws human kind offers publicly without consent. Like the old man
three seats from you with his finger so far up his nostril you’re afraid he
might scratch his brain. While you are surveying your surroundings make sure
your facial expressions stay neutral. Even the slightest smirk or eye pop will
make you, as a discrete photographer, detectable. Also, it is hard to take
stalker shots if you are displaying your true emotions blatantly on your face.
The world is an extra ordinary place filled with extraordinary sights. For
example, I accidently turned a corner a few months ago and landed myself in the
middle of a highly packed Gay Pride Festival in the Castro District. I would
not have been able to get the picture of San Francisco’s own drag queen,
Heklina, posing in front of the theater, if I was wide eyed with my jaw on the
floor. I had to conceal my complete shock that this flawless, make up covered,
high heeled woman, was actually a man. Make sure to keep your emotions in check
by masking any facial expressions while on the shoot. This step is just as
important as deciding between black or grey. Trust me.
In
order to be the ultimate photographer one must dress like a photographer. To
get the most suitable behind the lens look you need to pay attention to: the
lack of color in your color pallet, what your target market is (a.k.a. what the
cash dealer will be wearing,) if your outfit is comfortable and squatable,
whether or not your accessories support or destroy your professional tactics, and
finally, what your face looks like while on the job. If these steps are
followed correctly, and in that order, you will find yourself dressed to
impress and your photographic abilities at top notch.- above was my piece for my class, composition for the artist. : ) have a good night. xo
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