First period did nothing but add to my desperate want to fall back asleep. Notes, notes, and more notes. She was just repeating the exact words in the book. Her voice traveled into one ear of my head. Swam around my brain and exited. While leaving the words yank down on my already falling eye lids. I force to keep them open. Then the bell rang. I checked my grade: B+, and walked away. "wait was that really mine?" I turned back around and checked again. Yes that is my student number. My eyes we not just paying tricks on me. I actually have a B+ in AP biology. An image I believe until this morning could only be dreamt.
I pushed my way down the hall, being thrown around like bumper cars or the ball in pinball, until I reached photography. I sat down. Some kid was sitting next to me. I looked up at him. He looked like he was a biblical character. His beard look just like the pictures and in his eyes and strong willed determination. He did say much the whole class. Just bowed his head every time he was spoken to. It was like sitting next to deaf Jesus.
When the final bell rang I stood standing in the door way of my next class. Math. On the board was a new seating arrangement. My eyes scanned for my name....A....A....Anthony...no, Audrey. There right in front of Anthony. Could this be true? Maybe the kid in photo was Jesus and he just answered my prayers. I was to sit in front of the boy I desperately find the cutest thing to happen in math class. Problem was that sure when I turned around to hand it homework or ask him a question I could see him, but I wouldn't be able to look at the back of his head like before. Now my head was his view. I guess that's fine. I still sit next to him. I took my seat, Anthony behind me with his music cranked. ACDC screaming out of his head phones. At least he has good taste in music. ACDC never made a bad song. The next 40 minutes consisted of Mr.Hair trying to control the whiny mob called our class. He would repeat over and over the same things and still Kellen and Jason will not understand the simple equation. So what do we do? Repeat. And Repeat. And Repeat. Finally the bell.
I sat in the middle of a crowd but could hear no one. I sat there wishing I was where I am now. I saw Xavier sitting by himself. I thought of going and sitting next to him, but I don't know him (other than his name) and he doesn't know me. I didn't have a lunch. My stomach growled as my heart ached for an escape route. Ached for home. I clicked my heels together, closed my eyes, and said "there is o place like home" a few times. But when I lifted my lids I still sat in a cafeteria that was slowly emptying. I grabbed my books realizing the bell had rung and walked to AP world history.
I sat in my seat, in the back of the class, next to the door and waited as the other students entered laughing and took there seats. I didn't want to be there. Class started and our tests we passes out. I failed. In fact I got a grade that is after F. I hate this feeling. The feeling of Failure. Even though you tried so hard and studied you still end up with a score that looks like the kids next to you who doesn't do anything. But this time his was better. I tried to laugh it off, but the pain stuck. To make it all worse. Mr. McN. kept calling on "the girl in the yellow shirt" for answers. I didn't know some of them and the people in front of me would turn and give me a weird glance. A look of taunt. I was humiliated. Katelin said my face was red, I tried to blame it on the room temperature. She didn't buy it.
Car pool took me home. And now I am here. Hungry but there is nothing to eat. Sleepy but my eyes will now not close.
Its just a day. Just and Ordinary day. Just trying to get by.
